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Yes, because one day difficulties will arise and then if the other parent petitions first that parent usually gets what they want. One day one of you might decide to get remarried and that will cause several disagreements. ----

As stated by the first answer, things can arise to create difficulties. But, this need not require the hiring of attorneys. WARNING: LONG WINDED OLD FART

An uncontested divorce or paternity action need not require the two of you to hire attorneys. You need only find a Certified Mediator, hack out the agreement, in detail, file it with the court, and set a hearing date. On that day the judge will swear both of you in, ask if you both agree to the terms set down in the document, than everyone signs it. Generally, there is a 30-60 day waiting period for the document to be recorded with the county and state registries.

The mediator will be a lawyer or paralegal, with specialized training. Each of you MUST pay half the fees. The fees could run from $200 to $1000, depending on the going rates in your area, and time spent on the document. Court fees could run $50 to $150, but if you are tight on money, you could request a waiver.

These are the things you NEED to cover in the document.

CUSTODY Soul Custody Joint Legal Custody Joint Physical Custody Bird Nest Custody (see below)

VISITATION

How close do you live to him?

How old is the child?

How often?

What specific weeks, or months?

What specific holidays on in a list of years, do each parent get the children?

What if the custodial parent wants to move out of state?

MEDICAL

Who covers medical insurance?

Who decides on treatment?

CHILD SUPPORT

How much?

Weekly, Bi-Weekly, or Monthly?

How Long? Eighteen, High School, or End of College

Do you split the cost of college?

What state(s) may they attend in?

What is the minimum amount of college credit hours the child must take?

Who gets the tax deduction(s)?

What if the child gets pregnant? Does child support stop?

DEATH

If the residential parent dies, who gets the child? Never assume anything.

***************************

It's a form of access or custody where the children stay in the former family residence and it is the parents who rotate in and out separately and on a negotiated schedule.

The children simply live at "home" and the separated or divorced parents take turns living with them there, but never at the same time.

The core element of this arrangement is that each parent maintains a separate residence where they live when it is not their turn at the "bird's nest". When one parent arrives for his/her designated time, the other vacates right away, so as to minimize or eliminate the presence of both at the same time.

At times, bird's nest access can be coupled with specified access with the other parent say, for example, for dinner one night a week.

Sometimes, this form of access or custody will end when the youngest child reaches the age of majority at which time, one parent either buys the other out of their interest, if any, in the former family residence, or it is sold and the proceeds divided pursuant to the matrimonial property regime or separation agreement.

The arrangement can be expensive as it generally requires that three separate residences be maintained, the "nest" and a separate residence for each parent.

The concept is somewhat novel and appears to have as its origin a Virginia case Lamont v Lamont. In Canada, Greenough v Greenough was a ground-breaker case in that the Court implemented a bird's nest custody order even though it had not been asked for by either party. Justice Quinn, in Greenough stated:

"In Lamont ... the court made a bird's nest custody arrangement in which the children (aged 3 and 5 years) remained in the home, with the mother staying in the home during the week and the father on the weekend. I think that the benefits of a bird's nest order are best achieved where the children are able to stay in the matrimonial home, particularly if it has been the only residence that they have known....

"Time and time again I have seen cases (and this is one) where the children are being treated as Frisbees. In general, parents do not seem to appreciate the gross disruption to which children are subjected where one of the parents has frequent access. In this regard, I do not believe there must be evidence that the children are suffering before the court is free to act. To me, it is a matter of common sense. At the risk of falling prey to simplistic generalities, I am of the view that, given a choice, I do not see why anyone would select a living arrangement which involved so much movement from house to house." See link below

May I ask why the divorce or separation? It's very important that the child(ren) have both parents in the home. Is there nothing that can be done to preserve this?

See links below

Stanford University Divorce, Nontraditional Families, and Its Consequences For Children

"We know that children of divorced parents have more emotional and behavioral problems and do less well in school than children who live with both their Parent."

Fortune Magazine: Crime & Fatherless Families

"Ominously, the most reliable predictor of crime is neither poverty nor race but growing up fatherless."

Stay Married & Save The Planet

JOINT CUSTODY: Equal Time

How I divide my life between my divorced parents' homes. By Charlotte Juerge - Newsweek Web Exclusive - Dec 15, 2008

Father Makes Two - Time Magazine

By Margot Roosevelt Sunday, Nov. 11, 2003

Stupid Things Parents Do to Mess Up Their Kids

Ten Stupid Things Couples do to Mess up Their Relationships

The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage

Fatherless America : Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem

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Q: Is there any reason to get legal custody of a child if the parents are separated but get along and have no visitation or support issues?
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Who has legal custody of a minor child when parents have never married in MO?

If the parents are going to split up, one needs to file with the courts to define custody, child support, visitation, etc.


How can a father gain custody rights to his children in the state of Kentucky?

If the parents are unmarried the father must establish his paternity legally. Once he has established his paternity he can petition for custody, visitation and a child support order can be established. Unless you can prove the mother is unfit to be a parent, it is really hard to take custody away from the mother in Kentucky. However, a father may be awarded joint custody or/and a visitation schedule. He should seek the help of an attorney who specializes in custody issues.


What are the child custody laws for unwed parents in VA?

When the parents aren't married the mother has sole custody of her child. Once paternity has been established the father can petition for joint custody or visitation rights. A child support order will also be issued at that time. See the link provided below for a sample booklet on never married parents questions and rights in Massachusetts and a link for child custody laws in the US.


Is the child state property if the parents are not legally married?

No. A child is no one's property. An unmarried mother has sole custody until the father establishes his paternity in court. Once paternity is established the father can petition for custody and/or visitation and the court can prepare a child support order as necessary if the mother retains sole physical custody.No. A child is no one's property. An unmarried mother has sole custody until the father establishes his paternity in court. Once paternity is established the father can petition for custody and/or visitation and the court can prepare a child support order as necessary if the mother retains sole physical custody.No. A child is no one's property. An unmarried mother has sole custody until the father establishes his paternity in court. Once paternity is established the father can petition for custody and/or visitation and the court can prepare a child support order as necessary if the mother retains sole physical custody.No. A child is no one's property. An unmarried mother has sole custody until the father establishes his paternity in court. Once paternity is established the father can petition for custody and/or visitation and the court can prepare a child support order as necessary if the mother retains sole physical custody.


Can you keep the father of your child from having visitation rights and still collect child support?

Child support and visitation are two separate issues. The custodial parent can file a suit for child support but cannot deny the non custodial parent custodial or vistation rights is said parent wants those rights. That being said, the non custodial parent can file for custody or visitation regardless of whether the child support issue is addressed or not. Such matters are decided by the court if the parents cannot find an equitable solution.

Related questions

Can you be legally separated and have joint custody?

Yes. If you are legally separated then you are still married and both parents have equal rights and obligations to the child. The court can issue a support order, custody order and visitation order if necessary. You should consult with an attorney to determine your options under your state laws.Yes. If you are legally separated then you are still married and both parents have equal rights and obligations to the child. The court can issue a support order, custody order and visitation order if necessary. You should consult with an attorney to determine your options under your state laws.Yes. If you are legally separated then you are still married and both parents have equal rights and obligations to the child. The court can issue a support order, custody order and visitation order if necessary. You should consult with an attorney to determine your options under your state laws.Yes. If you are legally separated then you are still married and both parents have equal rights and obligations to the child. The court can issue a support order, custody order and visitation order if necessary. You should consult with an attorney to determine your options under your state laws.


If the father has visitation rights and has not seen the child can you get full custody and receive child support?

How does he have any visitation rights with a custody and child support order?


Who has legal custody of a minor child when parents have never married in MO?

If the parents are going to split up, one needs to file with the courts to define custody, child support, visitation, etc.


If you pay child support can you see your child?

Child support and custody/visitation are separate issues. You should contact your local courts to file for visitation/custody if the custodial parent is denying visitation.


What rights does a father have if he has never paid child support and hasnt seen his child in 13 months?

Child support and visitation are separate issues and visitation rights are not dependent on paying child support. He has the right to petition the court for visitation and custody as well as the responsibility to pay child support. The courts encourage the involvement of both parents in the child's life. If the parents are not married the father may need to establish his paternity before petitioning for visitations or custody.


How does joint custody affect child support in Georgia?

It depends on the type of joint custody. Custody is broken down into two subcategories- legal and physical. Legal custody is the ability to make decisions concerning the child and to act on the child's behalf. Physical custody is who the child lives with. Typically unless the child spends exactly 50 percent of the time with each parent, one parent is considered to have primary custody and the other parent to have secondary custody or visitation rights. Child support is based on who has primary physical custody, and that parent is typically awarded child support from the parent who has the child less since having the child more usually means that you provide for more of their needs as well.


How do you file for custody if there has been no court order and the mother did not bring the child back after visitation in the State of Texas?

If you are not married and there is no custody or visitation order, she has custody automatically. The father have to prove paternity in court by a DNA test and then petition for custody or visitation. He can then also pay child support.


Never married now separated no court orderd custody what are the legal rights of the parents?

mother has sole custody, father has child support obligation. see link


Can you gain sole custody of a child by receiving child support?

Depends on circumstances. A single mother has a presumption of sole custody at the time of the birth of the child. Where married parents are separated, there is a presumption of joint physical custody whether or not support is ordered.


Who has custody of minor childif parents were never married in the state of Ohio?

The mother. The father have to go to court to get his parental rights by providing a DNA test. he can then petition for custody, visitation and pay child support.


Who has legal custody of a minor child if parents are not married in Panama City Fl?

The mother. The father have to petition the court for visitation and custody after paternity has been established with a DNA test. Then he can also pay child support.


Will the mother get sole legal custody of the child if the parents were never married and he hasn't seen the child over 4 years?

She already has sole legal custody as an unmarried mother. He can petition for visitation and pay child support.