Should you tell your best guy friend that you love him or let him figure it out for himself?

Answer 1

OPINIONS FROM WIKIANSWERS USERS:

• Definitely tell them. When I was in year five I had a HUGE crush on a guy. After school I would walk home with him and I would just stare at him. But the thing was that before all this he was one of my only friends, everyone at the school was always asking me 'has he asked you out yet' or even ' have you kissed yet, do you hold hands in the shops on your little dates?' Then in year five I finally had the guts to say that I liked him, and he said that he liked me to! AND he even asked me out! We are still going out, so sometimes it truly can work out for the better.
• You definitely should, I loved my best friend and after he broke up with many girls he always came crying to me and one day I told him and it made our relationship 50 times stronger and are still good friends. We tried the whole dating thing but it didn't work out, but it's better to date someone your already very close with but don't press anything if they love you they will tell you eventually.
• I have a friend that went through the same thing. She liked this guy for three years and never told him! Anyway, everyone knew that they were "meant to be" if you will? They were perfect for each other, but they were both way to shy to admit it to the other one so they were just at a complete stand still. Then the boy finally asked her on a date. Even though they didn't actually get to go since the plans got all screwed up, they made a step. Then the boy finally admitted that he "loved" her. Now they are going out and its been about a month and eight days she tells me (not that she's counting). If he really means that much to you then you should go for it because you might not get another chance. If he doesn't like you, then you have major guts and you can get a lot of respect for that. If he is a jerk to you after you tell him and he doesn't feel the same then you know his true colors weren't all that great anyway.
• Guys are slow. My best friends are two guys and they wouldn't know if someone liked them, even if they shoved their tongue down their throat. You can flirt a little and like you said let him figure it out. If you think telling him in person is too hard, you can IM him over AIM or something.
• TELL HIM! DO IT! I love a happy ending!
• I'm a guy and I currently wouldn't say love yet but definitely really like and care about my best friend. I haven't told her simply because I'm a little scared that if she says no our friendship will deteriorate, even though we are such awesome friends. But guys react a little differently, if I had a friend that told me she loved me and I didn't love her I would simply tell them I don't feel the same but I still really care about them. My friendship with them wouldn't change but only grow stronger because I know that person cares for me, That doesn't scare most guys so I would say definitely go for it. I love it when girls make the first moves and so do most other guys, but check the signs first to see if he might like you. And maybe don't use love, but say you like them and really care about them.
• If you really love this guy you must be smart enough to show your love to him otherwise you may lose him, even as best friends, so take care of your actions and be smart and tell him by indirect way or if you felt that he likes you tell him directly, believe me it will work!
• You show it that you love him and then tell him otherwise he won't notice because you're best friend.
• The same happened to me, my best friend (a girl) didn't know. I asked for help and then that person accidentally told her, she didn't believe it anyways until I told her so. I suppose you should tell him.
• I'd say go for it. You might lose this guy if he doesn't know you actually like him more than a friend. Don't gush all over him all of a sudden, but let him know somehow.
• I personally think you should not tell this person, unless you are confident that he feels the same. I told my best friend of two years that I was attracted to him and we ended up dating for over 14 months. With that being said, we broke up a few months ago, and are no longer speaking. I loved him more than I've ever loved anyone else and he told me I meant more to him than anyone he'd ever met. Now we don't even talk because the break up was so terrible and hurtful. If you are willing to risk your friendship, then go for it. I do not regret dating him, or telling him, because I learned a lot from the experience. However, I lost a friendship in the process. Be sure that you wont regret your decision. Good luck with what ever you decide to do.
• You should tell him. I'm a guy and I know that NO guy could figure out a girl loved him without having somebody test it or other such thing. One girl always would blush when she laughed, which would happen whenever I would talk to her. I had a friend make her laugh and she didn't blush at all. Anyway, most guys are more shy than most girls give us credit for. We are more shy than girls most of the time. Definitely tell him, because trust me, he will not figure it out for himself.
• I have known for sometime one of my best female friends has had a crush on me. It's pretty obvious, she stares at me and ignores everyone else when I'm around and she gets angry when I hang round with other girls. Her best mates, who are also my best mates, told me she likes me. I asked them, they just yelled yes in my face but they told me she really wanted to tell me herself. Yesterday we were on a school trip, we got back to school then got another bus home, we were the only ones on the bus. It was the 18 people who had been saying stuff to us all day like are you two going out with each other, and we just said no. But when we were on the bus she was looking away from me, I could tell she was upset and she asked me if I thought that us going out was such a bad idea, I said no, I just say no to people because we are not, I thought she is trying to tell me I could see she was struggling so I said I over heard (name 1) and (name 2) talking about this boy you have a crush on, she went bright red and I said how come you will tell them and not me, she just looked at me started crying and said why should I tell you as if you would say yes, everyone knows the way you feel about (name 1), what has she got that I don't, and got off the bus, so that did not go to well, I'm going to have a talk with her about it though when I next see her.
• I have this best guy friend and we have been friends since the 6th grade and I really like him but I can't stand it when another female tries to make moves on him and when me & (name 1) are together on the bus or at school. I can tell he really is interested in me but when he is around his friends he acts differently, I hate that. I want a boyfriend that's going to be real with me the entire time and I want him to treat me like I am his queen and he his my king.
• I sort of have the same problem. I have been best friends with a guy for almost nine years, and just a few years ago I started to like him. Sometimes I feel I can't stand it if I'm away from him, and desperately need something to keep my mind off him. And then when I'm with him, we enjoy ourselves with childish things like Video Games and stuff, and never actually have conversations with each other. I'm not sure if he feels the same way, although all my friends think so, and I'm WAY too shy to tell him. If what other people have said on here are true, that he can't figure it out for himself, then I have to figure out if he feels the same way. I have to make sure of that before I tell him, otherwise our friendship might be broken and that's the last thing I want.
• I went through this! I was dropping a couple hints and he figured it out after a while. I asked him. "If a guy and a girl are best friends, but one of them liked the other... Would it be awkward?" He said, "Of course not!". After discussing this topic, I admitted to him that I like him. And he was like really? Because I like you too. And they all lived happily ever after.
• My life was just ruined. Well, not completely, but I just found out that he knew I liked him. He doesn't like me back. But on the bright side, he still loves me as a best friend. He admitted I was his best friend, even over all the other guys he knows. I talked to another of my guy friends about this, and he said to just give him time. I'm now going to see him today for the first time since his sister called to break the news to me, and I don't know how it's going to turn out. I'm just hoping he'll come around eventually.

• Just drop some hints and flirt. He'll pick up if he likes you.

• If you like him/her and go for it. If you are scared of getting rejected, life has it's ups and downs. If you truly love him then you should live a life full of crazy things, you never know what can happen. So take my advice go for it; get in there if you really love him then you would.
• My three best friends are all boys and I have a lot of guy friends. From observation, I think mostly guys want someone who's honest. That's the "key". And of course, you have to care about him and put up with their annoying habits. So I say; TELL HIM!
• Don't use the love word. It is like kryptonite to relationships at the beginning. Men are typically afraid of commitment and that word is like dangling chains out the front of your house while inviting him in. Instead present a sandwich at the door and wait till he is already in the basement before you bust out the chains. He most likely has or had the same feelings you do but doesn't want to risk damaging your friendship. Be careful and bring up the subject without any sort of serious commitment words like "love". I feel your best bet would be to make your friend activities more boy/girlfriend ish. Example if you guys are walking maybe grab and hold his arm in a playful way and see how he responds. If he doesn't reject it that would be a great indicator.
• My best guy friend and I started to seem like we were liking each other on a different level than friendship if you know what I mean. If you like your best friend, then just take those moments that seem like more than friendship and make them last as long as you can. When you catch each other's eyes after a conversation and realize you've been staring at each other for what seems like forever, don't look away. That will definitely give them a thought in the back of their head saying, "I wonder if...". That's how I handled it with my best guy friend this year and on the last few days of school he brought up best friends dating more than once. After they catch on though, you need to discuss if you think the relationship is worth risking the friendship. That's the bottom line.
• I went out with a guy who was one of my best friends. If anything, we were so much closer than other couples because we had a good foundation as friends. It didn't last but we are still as close as any of my other friends and we even have a laugh about when we used to date. The only problem is that if he says no it'll be awkward for a while and you might lose the good friendship you had before. So, in conclusion, if you think he likes you back, go for it. If you think he'll say no, then what's wrong with having him as a friend anyway? You should probably leave it and wait until he's ready for a relationship.
• There is always the possibility that your friend might not feel the same way about you, so I don't think anyone can tell you that you should definitely go for it. If you are ready to take that chance, or you know for sure that you will not lose him if you tell him, I say you should go for it because you might regret it if you don't. But if you are like me and want him to make the first move because then you are the one to make the call, I think you should just hold out.
• I did once he was my best friend and once the guy found out, he hurt me every way that he saw fit to.
• I think that you should tell him. I'm in love with one of my best friends and haven't told him for a couple of years. I just haven't had the guts. But the thing is after watching the development and crash of his first very short relationship, I'm realizing that he's shy too. Then he dropped a very small hint that he likes me (i think) he was wishing girls would just come right out and tell guys that they liked them and he was looking directly at me! So there really wasn't much point to my babbling about my problems, but don't be afraid to speak up- he might be shy too.
• Tell him. Its better if you let him know then not to tell him. If you don't then you will never know if he likes you back. I just told my best friend that I liked him/ loved him and he responded back the same way. So definitely tell him. If you don't then you will probably miss out on the one person you care about. So go for it. You might be nervous and all but that is normal.
• I think that you should tell him. I think that even if he/she doesn't like you "like that" you will still have an amazing and wonderful friend. I have a bit of a problem though. One of my very best friends is a guy and we are very close. He has been with me through everything. The problem is that there is a language barrier and we live on separate continents. I don't know any of his friends well, or what he is like at school; if he flirts with certain girls etc. We haven't really talked about relationships that much because we are both shy. He has dropped numerous hints that he likes me and vice versa.
• I hope if you tell him it works out. Personally, for me it was the worst mistake I have ever made. It was so weird he was like my brother and one day as a joke holding hands I just fell for him. We went out and he didn't feel the same way I felt. It was great in the beginning though! We've been broken up for almost 3 months now and I can't stand it. Our friendship is definitely weaker and I get jealous when I see him talk to any other girl. It worked out great for my other best friend though. She and her boyfriend have been going out almost a year and a half now. It really depends!
• If you don't tell them they will never know. Show them that you have guts and that you're stronger than them by actually telling the person. I've liked a lot of boys myself but every single boy that I liked or loved I told them hoping that they would like me and if you tell them that you like or love them they might not have liked you before you told them but they might like you after you have stuck with liking them after a period of time. So go ahead, what have you got to lose?
• I have 2 guy best friends and I liked one of them and a little later after my crush on him i told him and he was really cool about it and our friendship stayed the same, I think you should tell him because if he is truly your best friend then he will not just leave you after you tell him even if he doesn't like you back. Go ahead and tell him!
• Totally! You should tell him! If you have always been there for him and you guys have complete trust in each other, that just makes it better!
• Even if he doesn't say it back, eventually he will grow to hopefully. If anything, he will love you as a friend, and that's really good too!
• Years back I fell for a guy in a big way and ended up best friends with him, without even telling him that I thought he was the most gorgeous and incredible person on earth. Then I told a mutual friend and he let the cat out of the bag. Well, it turned out that the guy had absolutely no romantic interest in me at the time. But we kept on being best friends and a few months later he asked me out!
• My theory is that a lot of people have been desensitized to romance, they've almost been conditioned to view everyone they meet as a platonic friend. So, if you know someone likes you, you're more likely to weigh them up in your head as a potential girlfriend or boyfriend. If that sounds too good to be true, consider it from the reverse perspective; if you think someone hates your guts, you are much less likely to want to date them, right? Having said that, it's hard to muster the guts to say it. To this day, I don't have those guts. Mutual friends, while a little schoolyardish, are still a valid tactic; if he outright denies liking you to them, you have the option of in turn, denying that you said anything to those friends, while leaving him to consider your pros and cons.

• I have the same problem. My best guy friend I have a crush on. I want to tell him that I like him, but I can't find the words. Or the guts. I hate it. The worst part is, I don't know how he will react. I value our friendship more than anything, and not saying anything, I still am close to him but it hurts. Especially when girls flirt with him in front of my face.

• Please, just tell him or get someone else to tell him. He can't be your best friend for real if he wouldn't accept something like a little crush, so you'd be wasting time hanging out with him ) dating my best friend here, and loving it!

• If there are any clues that he likes you then go for it, it should work out. I had a similar problem and we both liked each other we just wouldn't admit it. We talked about it about 6 months later and we finally admitted we had liked each other but we told each other too late because we had gotten over it. We are still good friends and we talk but really I still like he a lot. Just don't leave it for too long because if he likes you he might get over it
• I actually told my best guy friend recently that I liked him and leanred that he liked me back! But since I can't date he told me that he will wait for me! Isn't that sweet.

• I am in the same situation as you. I think i might be in love with my best friend. I have known him since i was 3 years old, and one day our class went on a field trip to a water park, and I fell asleep on his lap. Everyone told me the next day that he was so cute about it, and he made everyone be quiet so i could sleep. People who weren't even on the bus heard about it because people were saying that he likes to tell people that i slept on his lap. Ever since then, he's been making subtle hints that he likes me back. He's been looking at me a lot, and at a dance he asked if we could get a caricture together. He's also put his arm around me, and called me pretty. IF your noticing signs like these, I think you should do what I'm going to do, and that's go for it, and tell him.

• I have a problem that's similar. I'm really shy. My friends actually started crushing on this guy and some how we ended up as the best of friends. He's also shy. We emailed each other over 3000 times in the first week of our friendship. I learned that he has the same interests and values as me...and he's really hot and funny. We're months into our friendship and I'm starting to feel differently about him, although I haven't told my friends who are gaga for him. He says that he can trust me with anything. At school we're totally different in public. We act like we don't exist. I get confused looks from my friends when I talk to him in the hallway or he cracks jokes that I only understand. We sit next to each other in classes. He gets really jealous when I joke or talk to his friends. Sometimes he pulls me over in class to tell me I look really pretty, or that I should come over sometime. I'm confused. Should I listen to my heart or mind? I want him to ask me first, but I don't want our friend/love(maybe) relationship to be over.

• This sounds all too similar, I have a best friend which is a girl and we've been best friends for 6 years and we've always liked each other so much more than friends but neither of us will admit it to each other. Everyone says that we should go out and that we're cute together when me and her are around each other, we'll be on the phone to each other every night too this day for several hours or more and we would give the smallest hints of how we love each other really. we would giggle down the phone and laugh at all of our jokes and it all seem's too perfect for me and her. recently we went on a date and that evening i would hold her from behind like it was meant to be or something, then she would lie her head on my shoulder and just seem like we're in our own little world but yet we still won't admit it to each other but soon enough we're going to admit it to each other before it's too late, a little of advice guys, let it all flow between you and that special someone and make sure you both you like each other before you do anything risky or stupid but doing something crazy could lead to something good.

• Its the same way for me. well not totally. I have two sides of the story. We had always flirted but we acted like it was nothing and everyone said y'all should go out and we said naww....but one is that i have a best friend for at least 7 years so far. so i had just recently texted him and my friend (so and so) when i had went to a football game at this high school. everytime i thought about the boy i kept on getting happy and get the shivers...smh and so i told (so and so) that i liked him and she said well i texting him now and im like ohh please dont say anything but she asked him so i got confused when he "accidently" sent me im not going to go out with her.... mom taught best" lalalalala and so im still confused like he still plain out dont like me so i said huh and he replied oh that was for some else but keep it any way and i said um okay so then he started messing with me (in a funny manner) and flirt as we usually do. The second story was with me and this boy on my team and we were both way too shy but eventually he asked me out and i said yes and so we are still going out so far! (this more to this but i didnt want to make it so long)!

• Its the same for me also..me and this one guy, well my best friend. We first started out having a thing and then it didn't work out so we decided just being good friends and we turned out to be like best friends! I've always had feelings for him but now hes like in love with my best friend and she doesnt even have the feelings for him! little does he know i'm in love with him. We hang out and he tells me everything and those late night calls till midnight. Sometimes i think he likes me but i'm so scared to just tell him how i feel about him! its terrible, so i'm in the same situation as you!
• I'm going through this right now. I met this guy in college. He lived across the hall from me, I didnt fall for him straight away. Funny enough, I started dating his roommate. But, after time passed I couldnt ignore this feeling I had for him. Needless to say one night after drinking and listening to him complain about how much he hated the guy I was talking to, I told him. He was in a long distance relationship, so I already had a idea that it wasn't going to go over too well. At this point, he knows and feels awful that he led me on. I do feel glad though that it's out there now, he tries his best to not lead me on. Though he does every so often. I think the only thing that is getting me through it is distancing myself from him. I'm not saying don't tell the person you feel the way you do, cause it could be great and start an amazing relationship. But, be careful because sometimes it can slap you in the face. Him and I are still friends but I wont say its easy watching him flirt with girls at parties and constantly talk about his girfriend to me.

Answer 2

Tell him! You should take charge. Guys are so unobservant, so he probably wouldn't notice!

Tel him. often men are not to good at making their own feelings known even though they would like to let you know.