Graduated in the top 100% of my class, then served my country during the war in a British Thermal Unit.

Transferred to the Swiss Navy, invented the famous "Swiss Navy Spoon" but was cheated out of my fame due to those publicity hogs in the Army...

Back in the civilian life, I was a lifeguard at a car wash, then a labor organizer in the Maternity Ward.

Re-entered College, pursuing a degree in Animal Husbandry,until they caught me at it one time.

After months of exhaustive study, I found out that every single word in Harold Robbin's "The Carpetbagger" can also be found in the Bible.

I co-invented gargling.

Was the 6th Beatle that even Pete Best won't talk about.

Now I've retired from Competitive Sports, and spend my spare time reading to the Deaf. "IT WAS THE BEST OF TIMES...IT WAS THE WORST OF TIMES..."