What are cognitive distortions?

Answer

Cognitive Distortions

The Ten Forms of Self Defeating Thoughts

1. All or nothing - thinking

You see things in black and white categories If a situation falls short of perfect,

you see it as a total failure. When a young woman on a diet ate a spoonful of ice

cream, she told herself, 'I've blown my diet completely.' This thought upset her so

much that she gobbled down an entire quart of ice cream!

2. Overgeneralization

You see a single negative event, such as a romantic rejection or a career

reversal as a never-ending pattern of defeat by using words such as 'always' or

"never" when you think about it. A depressed salesman became terribly upset

when he noticed bird dung on the windshield of his car. He told himself, 'Just my

luck! Birds are always crapping on my car!'

3. Mental filter

You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively, so that your

vision of all of reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that discolors a

beaker of water. Example: You receive many positive comments about your

presentation to a group of associates at work, but one of them says something

mildly critical. You obsess about his reaction for days and ignore all the positive

feedback.

4. Discounting the positive

You reject positive experiences by insisting they 'don't count.' If you do a good

job, you may tell yourself that it wasn't good enough or that anyone could have

done as well. Discounting the positive takes the joy out of life and makes you feel

inadequate and unrewarded.

5. Jumping to conclusions

You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to support your

conclusion.

Mind reading: Without checking it out, you arbitrarily conclude that someone is

reacting negatively to you.

Fortune telling: You predict that things will turn out badly. Before a test you may

tell yourself, 'I'm really going to blow it. What if I flunk?' If you're depressed you

may tell yourself, 'I'll never get better.'

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6. Magnification

You exaggerate the importance of your problems and shortcomings, or you

minimize the importance of your desirable qualities. This is also called the

'binocular trick.'

7. Emotional reasoning

You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really

are: 'I feel terrified about going on airplanes. It must be very dangerous to fly.' Or

'I feel guilty. I must be a rotten person.' Or 'I feel angry. This proves I'm being

treated unfairly.' Or I feel so inferior. This means I'm a second-rate person.' Or 'I

feel hopeless. I must really be hopeless.'

8. "Should statements"

You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or expected them to

be. After playing a difficult piece on the piano, a gifted pianist told herself, 'I

shouldn't have made so many mistakes.' This made her feel so disgusted that

she quit practicing for several days. 'Musts,' 'oughts' and 'have tos' are similar

offenders.

'Should statements' that are directed against yourself lead to guilt and frustration.

Should statements that are directed against other people or the world in general

lead to anger and frustration: 'He shouldn't be so stubborn and argumentative'

Many people try to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldn'ts, as if they

were delinquents who had to be punished before they could be expected to do

anything. 'I shouldn't eat that doughnut.' This usually doesn't work because all

these shoulds and musts make you feel rebellious and you get the urge to do just

the opposite. Dr. Albert Ellis has called this 'musterbation.' I call it the 'shouldy'

approach to life.

9. Labeling

Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. Instead of saying 'I made a

mistake.' you attach a negative label to yourself: 'I'm a loser.' You might also

label yourself 'a foal' or 'a failure' or 'a jerk.' Labeling is quite irrational because

you are not the same as what you do. Human beings exist. but 'fools,' 'losers,'

and 'jerks' do not. These labels are useless abstractions that lead to anger,

anxiety, frustration, and low self- esteem.

You may also label others. When someone does something that rubs you the

wrong way, you may tell yourself: 'He's an S.O.B Then you feel that the problem

is with that person's 'character' or 'essence' instead of with their thinking or

behavior. You see them as totally bad. This makes you feel hostile and hopeless

about improving things and leaves little room for constructive communication.

10. Personalization and blame

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Personalization occurs when you hold yourself personally responsible for an

event that isn't entirely under your control. When a woman received a note that

her child was having difficulties at school, she told herself, 'this shows what a bad

mother I am,' instead of trying to pinpoint the cause of the problem so that she

could be helpful to her child. When another woman's husband beat her, she told

herself, lf only I were better in bed, he wouldn't beat me.' Personalization leads to

guilt, shame, and feelings of inadequacy. Same people do the opposite. They

blame other people or their circumstances for their problems, and they overlook

ways that they might be contributing to the problem: 'The reason my marriage is

so lousy is because my spouse is totally unreasonable.' Blame usually doesn't

work very well because other people will resent being a scapegoat and they will

just toss the blame right back in your lap. It's like the game of hot potato - no one

wants to get stuck with it.