What are some excuses for being late for school?

my parent/guardian made me clean my room, Ihad to do the laundry, i had to wait in a traffic jam!
sometimes when ur late from school and u make a really funny excuse they'll let u go.
For example:my sister clogged the toilet with tolit paper and i tried to push it down with my foot, but then my foot got stuck and we spent 15 minutes trying to get it out

I refuse to answer any questions until my lawyer is present

I got abducted by aliens but i took over the ship by using my awesome kung fu skills but then i ran out of gas, so i went to australia to get a refill, but my engine burned out, so i had to walk 300 miles in the austrialian outback to find a amphiboius taxi.

I got run over by the bus

my brother shot me with a laser gun and i kinda died, but then i came back to life

Nikolai from black ops came to our house and drank all the vodka, but my dad attacked him but then he got shot in the foot with a shotgun, so we had to get him to the hospital

Spider Man webbed up my front door, so we had to climb through the chimmeny

(christmas) santa cluas got stuck in the chimminey last night and we had to get him out.

my butt was on fire

my alarm clock was rally tired and didnt wake up on time, but i didnt want to wake him up becuase that would be mean

i had a really awesome dream and i didnt want to wake up.

the TV fell on the cat, so we had to get him to the vet

Terrorists blew up my house, and we were in a hot debate with the home insurance company

(these excuses dont work if u have a really grunpy teacher)