So why I am dressed like a pirate in this restaurant
It's all because some hacker stole my identity
Now I'm in here every evening serving chowder and iced tea
Should have gone to freecreditreport.com (yeehaw)
I could have seen this coming at me like an atom bomb
They monitor your credit and send you email alerts
So you don't end up selling fish to tourists in t-shirts
2) Well I was shoppin' for a new car
Which ones me?
A cool convertible or a SUV
Too bad I didn't know my credit was whacked
'Cause now I'm drivin' off the lot in a used subcompact
F-R-E-E- that spells free credit report.com baby
Saw their ads on my TV
Thought about goin' but was too lazy
Now instead of lookin' fly and rollin' phat
My legs are stickin' to the vinyl and my posse's gettin' laughed at
F-R-E-E- that spells free credit report.com baby
3) Well I married my dream girl I married my dream girl
But she didn't tell me her credit was bad
So now instead of living in a pleasant suburb
We're living in the basement at her Mom and Dad's
Though we can't get a loan for a respectable home
Just because my girl defaulted on some old credit card
If we'd gone to free creditreport.com
I'd be a happy bachelor with a dog and a yard
4) Check it out
Gas prices blowing up sky high
Ditched my used subcompact for a 2 wheel ride
Now I'm rollin' eco friendly but I still look bad
When the bike seller saw my credit they said that this was all they had
I'm singing f to the r to the e to the e to the c to the r to the e d i t free to the report to the . to the com
Come on everybody grab your bike and sing along it's easy
F to the r to the e to the e …