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I would get a better lawyer! Document the incidents of control, even better have someone witness one! If you have joint custody, you need to get it enforced. As a parent, you need to know that the child is alright. You do not need to defend yourself so much as getting yourself back into the child's life. HOWEVER, at this point, you are essentially an aunt and so do keep to easy subjects of discussion, let the child know where you are living, ask what interests them and so on. Avoid any discussion of their dad. Kids are smart--when you show them your real self, they'll figure it out. What you are doing is keeping the lines open.

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Q: What can you do if your ex-husband has mind-washed your children against you and you haven't talked with your son for 2 years even though you have joint custody?
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