What do you do if you love your husband with all your heart but the sex is bad?

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You are lucky that the sex is 'bad' but you guys have love for each other. That's a lot easier to work on (and live with in the long) than the opposite.

Talk. Talk. Talk.

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Be prepared to be occasionally embarassed, surprised or uncomfortable - that's OK - laugh when funny things happen and remember that you have sex to express love and surrender to another, and to give each other the gift of intimacy and pleasure.

Have fun and use whatever resources you need to use - go shopping in an adult store, get books or videos, whatever you are comfortable with together.

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Hello, try to spice it up a little bit. tell him what you want him to do to you. how long have you been married and how old are you? ask him if he wants to watch a porn movie with you if you like that. just keep the communication open

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Hope that last answer didn't scare you off...I've been married for 3 years now and when I first got married I too loved my husband with all my heart, but our sex life left much to be desired. I did two things. One: I communicated with him by not only telling him things (which can be a bit uncomfortable because you don't want to hurt his feelings), but I also showed him. For example, I would move his hands to different places, tell him to go slow (in kind of a seductive way as if I wanted it to last longer - which boosts his ego - doesn't hurt it - when actually I wanted him to slow down because he was like a slobbering teenager on a first date :) And Two: I tried very hard to focus on the things he was doing right and encouraged those things. The more you tell him what you DO like and what a wonderful lover he is, the more that will become a reality. I hope this helps you. Like I said, I had a real problem with this as well, and we've made HUGE progress in the last couple of years with these skills. Take care.

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If you are a newly-wed, don't get discouraged. Most people will tell you that sex gets much better as time goes on. If you and your husband didn't have much sex "experience" when you got married or were virgens, then it might take a year or so before you get comfortable. Be completely honest in the most sensitive way you can. Sometimes his or your feelings might get a little wounded, but if you have an otherwise good relationship, they'll be mended quickly. Just as with anything else, sex gets better with practice. Practice as much as you can. Try different positions and you'll eventually find one or two favorites that you both feel the most comfortable with.

Talk about what turns each other on. Maybe you get in the mood when you and your husband go out together to a romantic place or when you spend time together just cuddling in front of the TV, or whatever. It's different for everyone. Be sure to ask him about his needs, too. Maybe he would like you to wear a certain lingerie or perfume, or do your hair a certain way. Try to be light hearted and not take things too seriously. If you love each other, your sex life will grow into something very beautiful.

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All of the previous answers have merit.

But I'm curious to know what you mean when you say the sex is bad.

Step back and take a look at this analytically. What precisely is the problem? Or is it more than one problem?

Are you placing all of the blame on your husband or are you willing to admit that maybe some of the blame lies with you?

Does hubby also think the sex is bad?

Is it possible that one or the other (or both!)of you has an unrealistic idea of what good sex should be like? Real sex is not like what you see in porn movies or magazines - not usually anyway. ;) Nor is it usually like the sex in cheesy romance novels.

"The sex is bad" is such a vague statement. You're going to have to do a little thinking here and decide what *exactly* is wrong or what you think is wrong, first. Then you'll have something to work with.

You may just need to communicate with your husband. Or you could buy a 'better sex' kind of manual. If all else fails, there is always couples therapy.

I'm 36 and I've been married to the same man for 18 years. We've always been open about what we want or need. We watch porn together. We share our fantasies. And we talk about sex and try new things if we feel like our sex life is becoming too routine.

Keep an open mind and if one idea doesn't work, try something else. Don't give up. Eventually, you should be able to find a solution that is satisfying for both of you.

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I'M JUST guessing here, but I would say you HAVE HAD "good" sex, where you were "satified", and your husband doesn't "satisfy" you. Some guys just aren't good at it and you have to teach him, physically show him what feels good for you. Also, check out this sex advice; older nurse has a T.V. call in show and also a website. She is very FRANK, but uses common sense when giving out her advice. It's: talksexwithsue.com Also you could check out your library. There are sex manuals out there that can teach a lot about mutually satisfying sex.

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As everyone likes different things, you might need to show him what you like. For example "I really like it when you do this" or "I much prefer it when you do it this way"

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Women don't have the secrets to good sex. Sex is about learning the dislikes and likes of each other. It's communication time! When we are younger it's all sparkles and new so anything goes. Once you get married and reality sets in then the little niggly things start coming up. I wouldn't blame men all the time. Both partners need to communicate and sex actually can be a fine art if communication and trying different methods that are comfortable for you both are placed into action.

Both men and women are learning all the time about what they like today and may not like a year from now.

First answer by Carrie. Last edit by Marcy. Contributor trust: 3907 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 123 [recommend question]