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(All advice is generic and incomplete of necessity. Apply as fits, and use your own brains.) Well, you're ONE of the reasons, aren't you? Unless he left before he got to know you. If you are, then you should admit it (that you're ONE of the reasons. That if their bond had been stronger, it would have held.) If the kids live with you, tell them it's NOT A BAD THING (for them). If they live with his ex, you'll just have to take their resentment in stride (if present). Show them you understand their resentment. Keep your distance. Tell them things don't always happen the way one likes, that you too would have preferred to fall in love with an unmarried man. Get out of the relationship before it's too late. The children will always listen to the natural mother. Your boyfriend cannot control what the kids think but, it will cause some revik on the relationship. Your boyfriend should talk to his children and tell them that he and their mother were having problems together, that's why they broke up. He should try to talk to his ex wife about not bringing their kids into her issues with him. Whatever the reason for the divorce, she shouldn't be involving the children in her disputes. I'll be honest--if the ex wife continues to do this, and the kids do not want to adjust themselves to you and are causing problems, really take the time to think about staying in this relationship. It may be more trouble than it's worth. I've been married to a man for 3 years, that this has been the situation. We even moved 1500 miles away from the ex, to get away. The phone calls continue, as well has her poisoning of the children. I would strongly advise you to think this through. It's up to your boyfriend, on how he's going to handle his ex. If he can't do it, you need to move on for your own sanity. Did their relationship end because he met you? Is what she is saying true? Kids are going to feel hurt if this is true. They will hold it against you until they have gotten over it, or grown up. But they will not forget how their family was torn apart no matter how nice you are to them. Sorry. My father left us for another woman and I still havent forgave him completely and that was 23 years ago. He should have left our mom first, then met someone, and not meet someone and then left her. Kids feel and believe the parent not only no longer love the spouse, but also no longer love them. The relationship, affair, cheating, ruined their family, ruined their life. It takes time to heal...let it.

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Q: What do you do if your boyfriend's ex-wife tells their children that you are the reason they aren't married?
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