What do you do if your son wears makeup or girls' clothing for the fun of it and likes it and does that make him gay or bisexual?

Answer 1

We're complicated creatures. It's OK to not know everything. Stick to the basics. We walk around like we're the normal ones and everybody else is, like, different. But just think about it. Like, on a gut level, remember when you were, say, 13? It was weird, right? Getting hair, and having urges, and wondering about girls and jobs and the future, and wondering, wondering, wondering. Can you imagine what it's like for a kid as these natural processes, spiritual and biological and utterly beyond his control, are taking him on a strange ride that he didn't really buy a ticket to but he's on anyway, as he's trying to grow up and conform and figure out what he supposed to be doing, what it's like for him to realize that the way he's developing, just, by the way, is utterly freaking out the adults, so they're having conferences in the kitchen and they're looking at him funny. Maybe he has a scary, weird problem that he has to hide from others, especially those in his own family? Can you imagine what that's like? Can I? Try to relax about this, and think about what really matters -- that this is your son that you love like nothing else, that you're on his side and will support him as he grows, no matter what. Perhaps just generally reassuring kids about all this nonsense is appropriate too, don't you think? So could you just tell the kid that you love him and that how we develop sexually is just one part of who we are, and that however you develop it's completely and totally fine? Could you just tell him that you were, say, 13 once and you remember it's a very weird and uncomfortable time, and that though you have rules in your house your No. 1 rule is that you love your kids and you're there for them? Could you just do that? If he's gay, it's fine. He's your son. You love him. Period. I could so easily be that kid, and so could you... And that's what I would want if I was that kid, to be loved no matter what, let the chips fall where they may. Take a deep breath. A posture of utter humility before the mystery and grandeur of life is appropriate. And be cool. It's going to be OK. That may make him a transvestite , But i really doubt it . he just needs to show his feminine side and this is his only way . Then again he wants attention from you and feels if he is more like a girl he will get it < this is based on the fact once boys are grown mother generally doesnt take them shopping anymore and sometimes they feel neglected whereas girls go with moms all the time shopping . He also may feel the need to talk to you and he misses that talking things out . Remember men hold things back as they have always been taught to do whereas women and girls talk things through . By all means pick a day < a school day would be best > and go shopping together . Tell him if he wants to dress up he can do so but make it understood you will be going out of town which should let him relax more as it will be less likely to you 2 to get noticed . try treating him like a girl in certain ways , If he has an outfit that honestly looks better on him than another , just tell him you think it looks better . see where it takes you and follow through with reasonable requests . Once out you will find he will open up about things and talk to you as he is in a more relaxed environment , If you get to a point where you think you need professional help then contact a group called < Tri-ess > just do a web search for them as they are a national organization and have experienced therapists in dealing with this . Its not the end of the world , you raised your son really good , better than you know . If he is willing to talk about things that's a good step in understanding each other better and he will carry this through life and become a much better man for it . Plus your son has bonded with you much like a girl would with her mother , its not a bad thing but a really good thing . hope this helps If your son is between the ages of 5 - 10 then this can be fairly normal. I remember my brother was 6 when he use to get into my mom's make-up and run around the neighborhood causing her grief. I use to wear those poodle skirts my mom made during the 1950s and she would use him as a model to hem the skirt, but he wouldn't do it unless he could twirl in it first! LOL Another time I found him wearing my bra, racing around like a maniac and the next thing I knew he was on the side of the couch playing his favorite cowboy, holding the straps of my bra as reins and had his toes in each cup as stirrups! LOL He out-grew it and he is married with 2 sons of his own (who do not do this.) If it would put your mind at rest then take your son to a therapist. See what he/she thinks. If your son is trapped in a female body then you want to be prepared and it's difficult to accept, but most important the person who feels this way is accepted for who they really are. Nothing has really changed inside the person, but just the packaging. No, dressing up like a girl is transvestism. Being gay is being attracted to the same sex. Being bisexual is being attracted to both sexes. There are plenty of straight men who enjoy dressing up like women and plenty of gay and bi men who don't. However, this could indicate the possibility that he might be transsexual and really be a girl trapped in a boy's body. But kids are impressionable. Don't tell him that because he likes to dress up as a girl that means he's a transsexual. Many men who enjoyed dressing as women thought they were transsexual, got sex changes, and realized they were actually happier as men, but then it's too late. I wouldn't even suggest it. Just wait and see and if he says he thinks he's really a girl assure him that it's OK.