What is the Wendy dilemma?

Answer 1

Generally the Wendy Dilemma refers to wives or girlfriends who end up acting as their husband's or boyfriend's surrogate mother. The dilemma being that it allows said husband or boyfriend to continue acting like a child. Wendy refers to the character who effectivbly becomes mother to Peter Pan and his gang of lost boys."

Edit:

This can also apply to the female children ormale children, many of whom feel a great sense of responsibility and/or duty (often the firstborn or only child in either case), of such a person. They can also be conditioned to think in such a manner through circumstances (mostly due to growing up around a person with a mental disorder as they will see this as the norm, or living conditions that force them to take responsibility that the parent will not). This problem is also not gender specific (not necessarily coming from a man). Search Peur Aeternus or Peter Pan Syndrome on wikipedia for a bit more more information. As I said, neither problem is gender specific.

Unfortunately, the Wendy Dilemma's counterpart in Peter Pan Syndrome - well, the tern has been horribly abused when in truth it is a medical condition that is very difficult to recognize and so not classified as a mental disorder - because it is usually hidden under other mental disorders with similar symptoms and can only be caught in hindsight. Hence, you will never find it in a medical dictionary. It is very real, but considered pop psychology and not real psychology.

The Wendy Dilemma is actually more widespread, as it can come from either Nature or Nurture - meaning you can be born to mother and fuss and the like or it can be a learned from early childhood to late relationships. If you find yourself seeming to mother more than romantically love your partner with equality, as in give and take or feeling both, get out of the relationship. It usually occurs in those with a dependent personality, which is why the Wendy Dilemma can be a born trait or a learned one. A very independent person can become dependent through negative reinforcement - and also positive reinforcement following up on the negative. Remember, this can occur in both women and in men, just as Peter Pan Syndrome.

I don't know if the link will show up, but here it is:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Puer_aeternus