What is the etiquette for a funeral?

Answer

It depends what religious sect it is, if it's a Western Country or a different cultural funeral in a Western country.

If this is a Western Protestant funeral the etiquette is:

• The obituary is in the newspapers and read it to be sure whether you should send flowers to the church (and flowers to the family should be sent) but some people will have in the obituary: 'In lieu of flowers please donate to ________ (it may be the cancer or heart foundation.) Out of respect give what you can afford and you can still send just a Sympathy Card or flowers to the decease's family if you so choose.
• You don't have to dress in black, but subdued colors (no bright colors) and if you choose to wear black that is highly acceptable as many people still prefer this. Most men wear dark colored suits or sports jackets and pants, but if one can't afford this or doesn't own good clothes then be in clean clothes. No jeans, tatty runners or T-shirts. A pair of slacks, shirt and shoes are acceptable.
• Older women generally will wear a hat or scarf when going into the church, but younger women don't have too unless it's Catholic or Anglican.
• If the family wishes they may have a 'receiving line' where family members and friends can show their condolences. All you have to say is, 'I am very sorry for your loss.'
• There is generally an usher provided by the family or church that will seat you so stand at the door inside the church and wait a minute and if no one comes to seat you then seat yourself.
• If you must talk then speak in a low whisper, but try to remain quiet. A funeral a respectful event.
• If you recognize someone or someone you know smiles at you DO NOT start up a conversation, but smile and nod.
• There may be an open casket (as well as pictures of the deceased) so watch what others do as sometimes only family will view the deceased and say their goodbyes (sometimes this is done either the day before or an hour or so before the actual funeral.) If others are going up to the casket to say their goodbyes, then follow suit.
• The Minister will generally start off with the Lord's Prayer and perhaps a hymn or two and allow family and friends to say a few words about the fond memories they had re the deceased. More words will be said by the Minister and perhaps a few more hymns.
• The Minister will then announce where the funeral procession should go (what cemetery) and if there will be a tea or buffet after this and where (generally at the family's home or it may be at a hall.) Some friends of the deceased may only go to the church, or the cemetery or choose to go to both. Some may miss the tea or buffet.

First answer by Marcy. Last edit by Marcy. Contributor trust: 3520 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 9 [recommend question]