What is the impact of having a narcissistic mother?

The impact of having a narcissistic mother is a lot of confusion, pain, and a lifetime of of soul seeking and healing. From an early age you learn not to trust or depend on your mother, there is no point. You are in a state of fear all the time, even when you reach adulthood, especially if you live close to the narcissist. The fear of another one of her rage attacks, sometimes you can feel it comming, her face turns mean, cold, evel, comments to hurt you, and then mabey after a few days she explodes. Other times it comes when you least expect it and catches you by surprise. So the fear is always there. Another impact, you are never good enough, even if you became the next Pope, you are still not good enough, and your children are never good enough. Your family is torn apart from the lies, playing one sibling off another, making up lies about your brother or sister to make them look bad, always talking about them in a negative way. So you end up wondering who is right and who is wrong in your family. You find your teen years are spent wondering what is normal and what is not, its only when you get into your 20s, when you see other families you relize what is normal. You never want to be around your mother, you spend as much time as you can growing up in other peoples houses. When you grow up, sometimes you end up back in the hands of a narcissist by marrying one, its like, these people just gravitate to you, and you feel comfortable with them, soppose because you know the narcissist so well after growing up with one. You need a lot of time on your own, to think, cause it takes a lot of time to figure out things that happened in your childhood and the reason behind them. It helps if you take a class in psycology and learn about personality disorders, but a lot of kids don't figure out that their parent is a narcissist until they are in their 30s and have lived a little and matured and looked for the answer. Oh I could just go on all day about this but am running out of text.