What questions should you ask your 6-year-old daughter if you fear she is still being abused by your ex-husband that has already been investigated but not convicted of sexual abuse?

Answer 1

Never ask a direct question of a child who is suspected of having been abused. Such issues are best handled by a professional counselor or medical personnel trained in the matter. Generally children will tell an adult especially a parent what they believe the person wants to hear, which may or may not be the truth concerning the matter at hand. Asking questions such as "Did (person's name) touch you in your private places?" and so forth can be construed in court as coerciveness towards the child and will not be allowed as evidence. Many cases of child abuse are lost or dismissed because untrained (and sometimes trained) persons have unintentionally tainted the child's testimony. The alternative to not seeking professional assistance is to simply have a conversation about the child's visitation with the suspected adult in the hope that helpful information is revealed. Even so, the court will generally take a skeptical view of testimony solicited from a child by either parent. My extended family had to deal with this same issue. The only way they got him was by video taping a testimony from the children and having them examined by a physician after a visit. It is really hard to get sexual abusers, write everything down (behavior, dates, EVERYTHING in a journal). Teach your 6 year old to fight and say no, it is really hard to do and they are scared at that age. Good luck!