What should you do if you are married to a narcissist?

Answer 1

I want to stay married to my narcissist and have gone through many leaps and bounds to improve the communication between us. However I find it extremely difficult to keep up with it and not let it get to me emotionally. It's exhausting to stay on top of a narcissist emotions and not end up feeling deflated. Not only am I trying to stay on top of it for myself but I have children that I have to protect and I'm very sad to see that he's rubbing off on them and feel that they will carry narcissistic traits as well. I'm completely exhausted and fear that once my children have grown and heaven forbid they treat their future spouses they way I've been treated. I fear I will have no interest or want to stay with him. Why wait until it's damaged everyone to just have it all end eventually. Under the same breath... I'm extremely scared to leave my N husband. There has never been physical abuse but I can't even imagine the mental abuse I will endure if I leave him.

My Question is... How do you get a N to know they are an N and seek help for their disorde

You WONT they will not ADMIT there At Fault they will say its YOU.....RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN away from him get a life......you only have ONE life and you deserve better he will grind you down untuil you have no life left in you sorry but this is the truth ive ben there got the t/shirt/video /DVD and its an AWFUL LIFE.

I have to believe there is someway to get them to see it. I've have dealt with this for 19 years and I have to say I've been there, done that and got the t/shirt/video/DVD and all that too. It's been a constant struggle. I don't believe there to be a better answer out there if I leave him. My children will suffer regardless if he is rubbing off. Again the repercussions of me leaving him would be much more damaging then staying. It has become an art to keep him where I have him. If I leave - what he is capable of unleashing is too scary to consider. I'm just tired and need motivation and hope.

Answer 2

You need to learn all you can about narcissistic personalities. Where they are concerned- knowledge is power. Most narcissists are really insecure children under that shell of superiority and self absorption. They need your attention and adoration. The more you understand the better you will be able to handle the situation. You cannot win any arguments. You cannot change the way they think. They are determined to be the smartest person in the room, always right, outspoken, and they care nothing for your needs, opinions or feelings. Everything they say and do is all about them. There is an excellent education available at the Mayo Clinic website about Narcissism. Here are some suggestions:

• Keep your distance- don't get too close and do not let them into your personal life. Do not share any personal information to the extent possible.
• Be practical about the disorder- you won't change them so step back whenever their narcissistic behavior rises to the surface.
• Avoid conflict generally, but,
• Define some limits- in some cases by not responding to inappropriate behavior you reinforce it- for example: if you must have continued exposure to the narcissist do not allow him/her to "tell you off", raise their voice at you, or treat you with disrespect.
• Do not try to argue or reason with them- your winning or convincing is counter to their world view- they will not allow it.
• Gain more understanding to enable you to work as constructively as possible.
• Avoid communicating with that person as much as possible.

In your particular case, if you must communicate, you should use email, voicemail and texting as much as possible. In your own communications stick to the subject and the facts and avoid falling prey to insults and arguments. Ignore them. If you consistently take the high road the narcissist may lose interest in trying to fight with you when they finally realize they have snared neither your attention nor your adoration!

Answer 3

Get divorced!