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tell him that the potty is for both and reward him for using the potty for both. when he doesn't, make him sit on the potty for 5 minutes, its cold, its hard, but its not a spanking. explain to the school that potty training is hard for some children and if they want him to learn they have to be encouraging, not punitive, to this habit. If they wont stop the pressure, find another school, or possibly a stay at home babysitter, who will help with this potty training when you cannot be at home with him. I am one that only believes spankings apply when a child is rude or out of control and nothing else has worked, but this is NOT a reason for spanking the child. Tell that Director to put a sock in it and, in fact, if he continues to threaten you in this manner report him/her. You didn't mention if you were married or living with your son's father. If so let daddy take his son into the washroom and have a "peeing contest!" No kidding, it works and it's a game and fun. It takes patience and understanding. If the father doesn't live with you then go to a cheap store and buy sparkles and tell your son if he piddles in the toilet he can sprinkle some of the sparkles in the toilet bowl and flush the toilet. Kids are fascinated by this. Let him know that if he still insists on not going pee at school that he can't do the sparkle thing. Another thing you can use is "Jr. panties" (sort of like diapers, but look like under pants) that have different characters on them. At least if he piddles it will be in this and you'll get the director off your back. I find this director a flaming fool and should know that a 3 year old may have some difficulties in this area. They should be working with you and not against you! Not long ago it was believed that children who bed-wet did so because they were simply too lazy to get up and go to the bathroom (boys especially were notorious for this) but doctors found out that the problem was that some children go through growth spurts and while the rest of them grows their bladder simply hasn't kept up (it will in time) and thus, the bed-wetting. I would suggest you take your son into the doctors just for a physical to be sure there is nothing causing this problem and to put your mind at rest. This way you'll know if it's physical or psychological. Kids have very strange habits when they are as young as your son and that's quite normal. By putting pressure on your child you'll only make matters worse. If you feel what the director said to you is unfair then stand up for your rights and tell him/her to stuff it! Then report them! For now get your son in the Jr. panties with his favorite characters on them and in time his peers at school will take care of the rest. Oh how I agree with the answers above, report that Director. My son was 3 before he peed in the toilet. He had a twin sister who had been using it for months, an older brother and his Dad showing him what to do but just didn't appear to want to. Then one night I took his diaper off to put him in the tub and he said 'wait a minute' peed in the toilet, then the next day said 'no nappy (we are English) today Mummy', and that was it, not even any accidents except once on the freeway. I am just not sure about the Jr pants. Because the child doesn't feel wet he has no incentive to become dry.

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Q: What should you do if your 3-year-old will poop in the potty but will not pee in the potty and you are getting pressure from his school to the point that the director suggested you spank or punish him?
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