What should you do if your husband has admitted to liking someone else but doesn't anymore?

Answer 1

Staying married in these modern times is a feat in itself. It's time both of you sat down and started being honest with each other. Neither of you have really done anything wrong. Marriage is tough as we all know, and the worst part is, your partner knows you more than anyone else (short of parents) and we can become like old comfy slippers to each other. I've been married 33 years and there isn't a time that goes by that I'm not thinking of how to keep my marriage interesting yet comfortable. Here are some good things to do: Be sure you get a romantic 3 day get-away every year. It can be as simple as going to another city, smaller town and staying in a motel. Get one that has a private hot tub, bring some candles along, wine, grapes, cheeses, etc. Don't be shy! LOL Get a sexy nightie (they aren't that expensive) and start having some fun! My hubby and I have a normal bath tub, so one night I put candles around it, and even floated rose pedals in the water with some bubble bath too and we decided to have a romantic evening. My hubby is 6' 6" tall and well ... we got into the tub OK, but then we had to figure out how in the heck we were getting out! Yup, we were stuck! We started to laugh, then we started to imagine paramedics coming in to grease our thighs to get us the heck out of there. We kept on going with these scenerios and laughing so hard we slipped right out of that tub! We had a blast! LOL Head space for both of you is very important. It's a must to not see each other every waking moment. Go out with girlfriends, join something, take up a hobby. Your husband should do the same thing. If we see each other all the time it gets darn boring. At least twice a month fill your house with laughter by having good friends over and just letting your hair down. This lets you know as well that everyone has to work at their marriage and that we all can have some problems in our marriages. If you have young children and can't afford very much, then try to work something out with family or friends. Trade-off children with good friends. You and your hubby go out for dinner, perhaps dancing or to a movie and let your friend babysit for no money, and the next week take her kids and let her go out with her hubby. Cheap and an effective way to get away from children and get back to keeping in touch with your mate. Men can feel left out when there are children or if both parties work. The mother is constantly protecting the children, chasing them around the house, zipping them too and from school, doctors/dentist appointments and she is exhausted by the end of the day or if you work and have no children the commute to work and back is enough to fry anyone and then you have to put in 8 hour days or worse. Get HIM to help you with some housework. It won't kill him and that will give you a little time to stay up in the evening together and touch base. Men like to feel they are getting ahead in their lives. So, save some money by tackling something in your home that you both have been putting off for awhile. Do it together! My husband and I save a lot of money by doing our own work around our home. If we don't know how to do a certain repair, we quickly learn how to do it. You'd be surprised once this job is done how proud and full of accomplishment you and your husband will feel and you both did it together! Take at least 1 hour of your day to sit down with your husband over a cup of coffee or glass of wine and talk about both your days. Try not to make it a "bitch fest" and get the those things out of the way quickly, then go on to planning something together. My husband and sit down right after he comes home from work and over tea we chat up a storm. After that he does his thing and I do mine. It works like a charm. You are lucky to have had a warning and it's doubtful by the way you posted that your husband has not had an affair, but unless you put your heads together it's coming. Sounds like your hubby is a good guy and just doesn't know what's happening to him, but is at least honest with you. By the way, from 40 up MEN DO HAVE MALE MENOPAUSE! There you have it! LOL Good luck Marcy I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your response and I do try but I guess not hard enough. We've been married for 5 years this December, have 2 young children and no family or friends willing to help. I told him that I was gonna leave him because I felt he didn't love me anymore and that i wasn't going to stay with someone who didn't want to be with me. He joked about it saying I thought you were leaving me today? I told him after much thought I shouldn't be the one to leave because I have fought tooth and nail to keep this home. He doesn't want to talk. I let him go out whenever he wants, even to strip clubs, he does his own thing - I try not to get in his way. I express that I would like Sundays to be our family days and it was working for a while but lately he's been making excuses that he has things to do. We've talked but when we do he just goes out and tells this girls family and friends that we argue. I don't know. His mother and a close friend said that he just mistaken a friendship between a guy and a girl. Being that he never really had a friendship with a girl. He expressed to me that she reminded him of how I was in the beginning. He says that he's not into her no more but when she comes by I can't be around because I feel that he'll look at her and make me feel that I wish I was carefree like she is. I don't know if he's cheated on me. He says no but who really knows. He's 25, and I try to understand that but at the same time I think when will he ever grow up. I swear I think he was more mature when we met than how he acts sometimes now. We are planning to move out-of-state at the end of the month. But maybe and I say maybe because I am a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason" that this is happening so that either I realize "look our love isn't so pure like he painted it out to be" or that maybe we should call it quits. We both wanted a loving family with both parents in a happy home. I feel like that is slowly diminishing. Today he asked for a kiss but I think it was just to see if I was still mad or upset with him. I gave it to him. I asked him to make love to me and he says he's tired. We have sex but there's a difference. I need to be held, to be caressed, to feel his love. Am I crazy? Pregnant? what is going on? I think your feelings are justified and if he hasn't got the time of day for you or if he jokes about something that you are trying to speak seriously about, I would ask him about where or what he wants out of the relationship. If he starts joking about this question then you know where your relationship stands. As a joke. I wouldn't say this except I have been there and have been married now for 12 years. All these questions do help and brings your partner to realize what marriage is all about and whether he really wants this or was he just worried that he wouldn't find anyone before his time. Good Luck People will treat you as badly as you let them. I want you to take a minute and look at that and think it over. If you want "more", sit down and write list of what that "more" is and why you want it. You want Sunday to be a family day each week. I'm sure that he works and doesn't get to spend as much time with the kids as he'd like during the week. It won't be that long before the kids are grown and off doing their own thing. He'll feel bad because he chose to sit in a topless bar with some chicks boobs or butt in his face for a few seconds of gratification than to bond with his own kids. You say that you want to feel loved. Make sure that you put on your list what it takes for you feel loved. If that's no more "quickies", then put that on your list. If that means talking to him a little every day, that needs to be on your list. Once you look at your list, all written out in black and white, see if it's reasonable. If some of it seems petty or childish once you get it out of your head and on paper, cross it off. In all probability, some of it will seem petty and childish on paper. Think about those things and see if you can let go of them. When you have your final list, give it to him. Tell him that he wants to have a wife and family, here's the basics of what you expect.

From what you've said, he gets to do as he pleases while you keep the home fires burning. Strip clubs, out with the boys, skipping out on family responsibilities. What do you get to do? Do you get to go to bars with your girlfriends? Which day do you get to skip out on your family responsibilities? Unless you're getting equal billing, that's not a fair situation.

He should not be hanging around anyone he's attracted to if he's going to be your husband. Do you really think he'd tolerate you having an on-going relationship with a male friend you admitted to have had a crush on? Of course this girl is more carefree than married woman with kids. She's single and has no kids. Worse yet, she's over at your house.

I will tell you something else you need to keep in mind. If the man is unhappy, he can be unhappy by himself in a family. The woman and the kids can still be happy. If the woman is unhappy, NOBODY's happy.

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