What do you say to offer condolences?

Answer 1

Knowing what to say during times of loss and grieving can be difficult for everyone involved. The proper response when someone gives their condolences is a simple thank you. Of course, if you wish to say more it is fine but nothing more should be expected.

Answer 2

Recently bereaved twice, I have noted general discomfort with death on the part of those approaching the recently bereaved. Good manners and respect, with a sensitivity towards the unique circumstances are all that is called for. It is advisable to send a card asap on hearing the sad news, if you wish to call by the house or phone, be guided by the bereaved and sensitive to any signs at cutting short the conversation. With a card, do keep the main message simple and relatively short - the bereaved may receive hundreds of cards, you do not want your message to be seen as an onerous duty to read. However, others' situations may not be so fortunate and perhaps a card followed by a letter would be appropriate. It is preferable that your message conveys sincere sympathy in your own (gentle)words and a positive honest remembrance of the deceased if appropriate - longer letters with memories from those who have been dear friends or colleagues etc may be welcome, and may be usefully incorporated into the funeral address. If the bereaved is not religious, it would be inappropriate to include such references. Likewise, whilst a poem or quote may seem appropriate to you, it may not seem so to the bereaved - choose your words with thoughtful consideration of the specific nature of events and the recipient, and the nature of your relationship with both the deceased and the bereaved. General offers of help are mostly disregarded, a separate note inside the card with specific offers of help and your contact details may be useful. Each of us are very different - some people welcome flowers, others view them as a nuisance and waste of money. You need to think about what you feel you would like to do as well as how the recipient may react to your kindness. Above all, act with timely sincerity, try not to be embarrassed or discomfited by the distress of the bereaved, and do not look to the bereaved for comfort for yourself.

Answer 3

• It depends on the individual and it should come from the heart. It is difficult to express oneself because as humans, we know we can't possibly lift the sorrow and grief of that person no matter what we say. Grieving is a normal process of a loved one who has passed on Here is an example of condolences: My deepest sympathies are with you during your time of sorrow. While I cannot possibly understand how you are feeling I am here for you. Put these words under the verse of the card and sign your name and put your phone number if you don't think the person has it.

The RESPONSE to condolences is a verbal thank you ,at the viewing ,or the graveside. If you have a Visitor register at the viewing, the bereaved or a designee may send written Thank You notes , and someone should, especially for flowers or gifts of donations in memory of the deceased.If the bereaved has no one to assist them, and is too distraught to write any Thank You notes, this is one instance where a breach of Etiquette can and SHOULD be overlooked.

Answer 4

• You could send a card first and if you are speaking to the person tell them that you are there if they need anything. There isn't much you can say when someone is grieving. Just letting them know someone is there for them is a big help.
  

Answer 5

If you are recently truly and seriously bereaved, no response is necessary. If you feel you must,a simple, "Thank you for your kind thoughts " will suffice.

Answer 6

A polite 'Thank you' would be appropriate.

Answer 7

• The proper greetings for condolences is 'I am very sorry to hear about the loss (of husband; wife; brother; sister; parent or grandparent.)