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Holden has a strong bond with his sister. He can't commit suicide because for one he doesn't want people looking at his dead body when he has passed away. Holden feels that if he is still here and alive his mother will be fine. If he is dead Holden's mother will go into a state of depression and he doesn't want her to feel like that. Holden loves Phoebe and he doesn't want her to turn out like he has. He is depressed and uses a lot of defense mechanisms because of Allie's death and if he died Pheobe would turn out to be like him.

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12y ago
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11y ago

After he was beat up by Sunny and Maurico

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Q: Why did holden felt like committing suicide?
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