Why do some people blame others and claim to be victims?

Answer 1

People who continually "pass the buck" or blame others suffer usually from a sense of worthlessness, or low self esteem. Sometimes this may be a direct result of improper or negligent parenting, whereby these were never able to establish a sense of self-importance which eventual translates into deprivation on some level or another. Sometimes these individuals may be missing a parent do to divorce, a death of a spouse or a parent who "ran-off" and never took the time to nurture the child. The remaining parent may be irresponsible, and fail to do their job also. Never the less, there comes a point in every man and woman's life where they have to come to grips with these unfortunate life experiences and take responsibility for themselves. While it may be easy to point a finger at those who refuse to be held accountable, at the same time we must recognize the huge deficit or loss that lead to this behavior. Striking a healthy balance may lead to avoidance or walking away!

While we must remain objective concerning these, we must also refuse to feed into this behavior. By doing so, we actually assist the "blame-passers" in continuing their assault on others. Eventually these individuals can wreck others lives because they remain bitter, unaccountable and below the surface broods an anger like a ticking-bomb waiting to go-off. Usually these manifest a passive-aggressiveness that initially helps create a mask or facade they hide behind. Often blaming others for their inability to change, they not only become "blame-passer's", but "life-wreckers" as well. Many times they pass on this illness to their own offspring. In there refusal to be held accountable, they develop a selfishness that denies others the chance to grow. Their children often become replica's of themselves. They destroy families, children, and have only one goal: "PASS-IT-ON".

From these avoidance may be the most effective management tool. Not sowing into their sickness, may allow their fire to be put out. Usually they look for other victims, being victims themselves, and through this unhealthy-co-dependency, their legacy lives on. Having many dark moments of secrecy and self-betrayal, thet cannot be trusted, as their perception is mostly cloudy even on a clear day. Like a ripe disease this virus attacks the weak, the innocent and strikes at the very peace of those around them. Always, looking for someone else to pay the price of their own ineptness, their own self-loathing--they lose relationships and trade healthy friends for those who are of the same jaded nature.

Their stubborn refusal to take responsibility will eventually mean the loss of a spouse due to unfaithfulness, the loss of a job, and family members who end up turning away. Always being hunted and playing the victim allows their ego's to be stroked and coddled. When others are forced into playing their game--this actually gives them the fuel to believe in their lies. From such an encounter, if one has the ability--reveal this behavior and refuse to sow into it. If these rise up in anger--walk away and avoid until the time comes when they face their sickness.