Why do you have to be in love with someone?

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I love what the last poster said and it was well put. I know two 40 year old men who go hiking, fishing, go to bars, and stick to each other like twins. They love their life, yet I have heard some of their friends accuse these two men of being gay, and they certainly aren't! My husband have them over often for dinner, and I'll bake the odd pie or dish and take it over for them as a treat. They're really happy together. The same goes for women. A man can simply live with a man and a woman can live with a woman or, brother and sister, etc. Most people never really stop and think that if they are independent, love their freedom and are happy that they don't need to be in love for the sake of it. There is nothing really scary about living alone if you prefer to be and it's society that puts a stigmatism of "What's wrong with him/her? They should be married by now. Are they gay?"

I'd rather be single than unhappy. I've been happily married for 34 years, but, if it hadn't turned out that wasn't I was very independent and busy with friends and family and knew I could live alone for the rest of my life.

Often people just love to have a pet around for company. I've heard young men and women tell me that they'd had bad relationships, had enough and went out and bought a dog and refuse to get into another serious relationship! Even I find myself saying to my husband on occasion "You know, the more I get to know some people the more I love my pets!"

Answer

Your question doesn't have a lot of detail, but there is no reason you have to be in love with someone. And it isn't always better to be with someone than alone, everyone is different. If you are happy not being in a couple, then do that. If you want to be in a relationship and your not in love, do that. Just don't tell someone you love them if you don't. That's not fair.

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Sometimes it may feel like you have to love someone. Emotions can be very strong, but there comes a time in every relationship where there is a checkpoint. Then you have to really take a hard look and see if the relationship is healthy and happy for both people involved. In a happy, fulfilling relationship you would never be asking why do you have to be in love with a person. You would be asking how did I ever live without him/her.

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I will give you a Biblical answer. The scripture says that husbands should love their wives. Also it says you are to Love God with all your heart mind and soul. I believe it is a fallacy to think that you have to be in love with somebody. Also I believe a person that ask that is seeking happiness in someone. Factually, people can bring temporary happiness to a person, but not deep down bedrock happiness. That kind of happiness comes from knowing who made you (God) and that His son (Jesus) forgives you of all sin, and cares for you as no man or woman can. Some people never know the love of a person, but are fulfilled in knowing they love and are loved by their Heavenly Father who, after all they will be spending eternity with unlike the temporal love of the flesh.

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Your question begs the issue of what kind of influence our culture can put on us. We are constantly bombarded by love issues everywhere we turn. For example, I have no desire to get married, and when I have made this statement to various people I'm often met with looks of confusion. People often respond, "Do you want to be lonely the rest of your life?" Who says I'm lonely? I'm independent, and I love not having to answer to anybody. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be by yourself. I find it's the best way to focus on becoming the best person you can be and involving yourself in the things you love to do.

I think the question you ask is indicative of the sheep like, homogenized society we are becoming. Be yourself, and fall in love when you are good and ready to be in love, not because you feel you have to.

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Because all your friends will get married, spend all their time raising their families, and you don't want to die alone.

First answer by Leslie. Last edit by Idaillouz4. Contributor trust: 6 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 156 [recommend question]