Why does a Narcissist sometimes act open and caring on email when he doesn't in person?

Answer 1

Because he may have other women on the go and doesn't want to show any particular woman interest in case others notice. Sorry, but hes probably a cheat and they usually are. Don't email him again. Avoid him. Hes a waste of your time and your life. You cannot change him no matter how nice, pretty, caring, smart you are. They don't care about those things. They care about games such as come here and go away routines and being a puppet master. Life is too short. I shed many tears and had the gut wrenching pain unlike no other pain ever I had. Now I am free and guess what? Hes the one who keeps coming to my door only to have me not answer it. I use to plead and beg him and ask why he acted so mean. He would ignore me. Now I ignore him.Now I know why and I don't care anymore. I am through the nightmare of him and I thank my lucky stars I got through it all in one piece as I believe N's are dangerous and once they see they are losing control, they panic. Keep a logical mind. Feel the feelings but realize how important you are. This man is only wanting to wear you down and destroy you. Even is hes not cheating, hes still a really bad man. These types are vicious and they will leave no stone unturned in order to gain control. Take Care.

answerThis N at work is going through the same thing. He used to parade his bombshell girlfriend in front of me. Behaved really cold and cruel to me when he first slept with her. Then "nice" to me only in front of my boss and friends to make it look like i was the jealous bi*ch. It wasn't so much that he was with her, (i already accepted the relationship wasn't working- and gave him plenty of space) it was the way he treated me and how I just knew he was going to treat her in the end. I now realize he was just reverting to his true self and being a fake knight in shining amour to her.

Eight months later he dumped her. Suddenly, cruelly and cold. She is not one of my favorite people but the things he did to her I would not wish on my worst enemy. I still work with this reptile. Now the tables are turned. He is desperately trying to gain my attention. I keep ignoring him no matter what he says, how nice it is. How much he "hangs around". I am only polite to him in front of others just to "look good". I spend long hours in conversation with others in the office he once turned against me - who eventually got stabbed in the back as well. I know he will never feel anything by how we are ostracizing him, how much we are disgusted by his behavior. Much less register it was his own wrong doing. Only that his ego is damaged. Severely.

No one at work respects him at all. Some fear him. We all have him figured out. One ex of his from five years ago just started working there with us in the office. She has an administrative position, working close with me and earning more than him. She dumped him because of his games and lies. Oh did i mention she is dating his boss?

Anyways, sorry to get off track. But to answer your question.. i am inclined to think it's easier for him to be "open" and "caring" on email (which is all a big lie) because he is not looking someone in the eye. In person many N's won't look you in the eye or will avert their gaze in conversation. In any case, just remember the openess and caring is not who he really is. It's a facade to reel you in.