Why does my wife's new broomstick only fly in left hand circles she has tried changing her grip and seating but to no avail please help she is getting dizzy?

Answer 1

Or How Not To A Question.This is obviously a steering geometry fault

the broomstick needs tracking up I believe Kwik fit are experts at tracking broomsticks.

One other posibility is that there are more bristles on one side of the broomstick's head

this will cause uneven airflow through the rear end and could well cause the

transport to go round in circles.

Regarding the dizzyness I recommend your wife stays off the broomstick

for a short "spell" .

UpdateI have just taken in part exchange a broomstick that only goes round

in right hand circles, I could let you have this at a very favourable price.

Perhaps if you tied the two together, you would end up with a broomstick that flies

straight.

Best wishes from Honest Johns personal transportation services.

UPDATE 2Thanks for the offer Honest John, but we found out what the trouble was, The Cauldron hook was in the wrong place, moving it slightly made all the difference, I advise you to check yours, apparently this is a common fault with this model broomstick, and the manufacturers will not issue a recall.

She is now very happy and will be attempting the Land Sea Air record very soon

Update 3She will attempting the record tonight 03/07/08 (or for you Americans 07/03/08), around midnight, to be able to track her speed, 'The Hemlock Book of Witches Records' insist that she has lights on her broomstick.

So if you are a 'drunken squaddie' or happen to see a bright fast moving object around this time, it is not a UFO, just the wife.

Update 4From the Emmet & Grockle Observation society.

We will watch the record attempt with our new high powered

Besom brand telescope.

Although your wife will have navigation lights fitted, may we suggest that she wears

a high visibility jacket also.

We are quite sure honest John would lend you a jacket for this worthy attempt.

We wish your wife the best of luck with this record attempt and look forward to her inclusion in the Hemlock Book of Witches Records.

We are wondering if your wife is flying solo, or is she taking her black cat

along for the ride ?

The record for a passenger carrying broomstick speed record is currently open.

There is a chance that she could in fact break two records this evening.

UPDATE 5The last time the cat rode with her, it came back with a weather vane in one paw, and part of some aircraft's landing gear in the other. it took me 4 hours to get it off the broomstick(Scared stiff), and when I arose the next day, most of it's fur had turned white, but I'm happy to say that he is back to normal now. but there is no way you would get him within one hundred yards of that broomstick.

Luckily, we have one cat that is very short-sighted, so we can strap him to the broomstick.

All systems green (except for the hi-visibility jacket, yellow and pink checked) for record attempt later tonight .

Update 6Well the record attempt went well, in all 10 runs, the broom worked well, and the cat behaved itself.

The Wife is well and resting at the moment, hanging upside down from her door frame, and the cat has just finished off a bowl of jellied dragon.

All the batcams worked, and I will be able to upload some footage to the site www.whataloadofoldrubbish.com very soon.

I am waiting to hear from The Emmet and Grockle Observation Society, as to whether or not they were able to track the attempts on their high powered Besom telescope.

The hi-visibility jacket stood out well, Thanks to Honest John for the use of, (the sparklers were a nice touch John).

We now await the conclusions of the adjudicators from 'The Hemlock Book of Witches Records'. (Apparently their abacus is running slow due to the fact their phoenix is tired)

As soon as we get the results I will post them here.

Update 7

The Hemlock Book Of Witches Records are happy to announce that the passenger carrying

broomstick speed record has indeed been broken.

We hope the cat is rested & feline fine.

Due to a technicality the solo record remains unchanged,

The Emmet & Grockle observation team reported that the attempt

was too high, space travel is not allowable for record attempts.

They seem to think the excess height was caused by all the July 4th

firework celebrations.

As hot air rises this must have lifted your wife into orbit.

We sincerely hope that another attempt is made at the record very shortly.

We suggest that you do not try again on November 5th

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact us

our number is 1-500-Big Black Hat

Best wishes from

The Hemlock Book Of Witches Records

Downdate 8Oh no, that means I have to wake her and tell her, and I don't fancy being a Horned Toad again just yet.

I can see a complaint going in to W.A.R,L.O.C.K (Witches Against Record Losing Over Common Knowledge) [It was the best I could come up with in a short time]

Nowhere in 'The Hemlock Book of Witches Records' does it state anything about height restrictions.

Watch out Hemlock, the Cornish witches still haven't forgotten the spell making fiasco

When they were three spells in the lead with 10 minutes to go and your judge drank the sleep potion and the forget potion and forgot to wake up for six months

Update 9From W.A.N.D.S

(World Aeronautical Navigation Development Society)

To all involved in the above record attempt.

We are checking our records for the night of July 3rd 2008

As aeronautical navigation specialists we will be able to confirm

if the broomstick did fly too high to be included in the record.

We will report our findings in a few days time, please do not threaten us with spells

if the findings are not as you would like them to be, we have our computer spell checker turned up to high.

Any attempt to influence the outcome by using spells will result in the record attempt

being classed as null & void.

Regards

WANDS.

Update 10From C.O.V.E.N

(Covert Operations Via Excellent Nationalists)

We have infiltrated W.A.N.D.S and are working with S.P.E.L.L.S (Special Procedures Electronic Listening Leprechauns Society) and O.G.G.I.E (Organising Go-Getter's In Emergencies).

So don't worry, we will sort it out.

Agent Unicorn

C.O.V.E.N

Update 11We are WOOF

Warwickshire Observers Of Flight

Our records show that no space travel by a broomstick was recorded on July 3rd 2008.

We recommend that the record is awarded to that poor Witch

It would not be right for her to be "hanging around" for too long waiting for a decision to be made

I urge all concerned to bring this matter to a swift conclusion

Yours faithfully

R over

Chief Executive

WOOF

Right you twoEnough is enough, you two have given away enough plots and story lines to fill twenty J K Rowling books, how is the poor woman going to make her next 20 million, when you two are throwing away story lines all over the place.

Desist now ........or it will be placed in the hands of the lawyers.

Professor Alvin Bumblebee......Pigspots College.

The End

PS, For anyone following our crazy postings (Shame on you, haven't you anything better to do, just because we are daft enough to post them, doesn't mean you have to read them).

Look out for the next Grockle and Emmet production.........Coming to a computer near you soon.