Why is it so hard for the father to get physical custody?

Answer 1

In this day and age a father is just as capable of getting full custody of his kids. It should be noted that most fathers choose to settle for something like true joint custody with the mother being primary. This is a mistake if the mothers made primary then she is going to retain custody no matter what. All she has to say is the my child has a set routine and will be hurt if the routine is changed. It should also be noted that if a mother is granted temp full custody or a order says it is only temp that is a lie. The Judge is not gonna change his mind after someone is granted full custody. Here is the best advice to all fathers. Take it to trial. Go all the way and do not stop even for a second and do not settle for anything but true joint custody with you both having equal rights to the child. In the end it is better to let the Judge decide, because if the Judge sees a father willing to fight for his child the outcome will be good. It was a great outcome for me.

Another PerspectiveThe father must consult with an attorney who specializes in custody issues who can review the situation and explain the father's rights and options. State laws vary regarding custody and some states require a shared parenting plan.

Background:

Up to and through the early twentieth century fathers were typically favored for child custody if the marriage ended. That custom gradually changed since the courts had to acknowledge that the mother was the primary care giver and she should keep raising the children in their tender years. That presumption gave way to the best interest of the child doctrine in the 1970s. It is a fact of family life that mothers usually provide the day to day, primary care of their children even if they work outside the home. It should be remembered that shared parenting is the best possible solution to a divorce. Fighting over custody often has other motivations at its root such as wanting to hurt the other parent, wanting to maintain control and wanting to avoid paying child support. The mother is often the target in custody battles and those battles set the stage for years of legal wrangling.

Courts know that generally speaking, mothers are the ones who provide the day to day care for their children, even if they also work outside the home. It is also true that many fathers take an active role in raising their children. If the father was the primary caregiver then he should be considered primary custody since caregiving should be the main qualification for awarding physical custody along with a healthy, stability and safe environment.

If the mother presently has physical custody she must be deemed unfit for the court to grant custody to the father. Unfit as a legal term is a determination that must be made by the state court that has jurisdiction over the case. Every parent at odds with the other parent thinks the other is "unfit" so it's not simply a matter of opinion.

The attorney can help the father to come to terms with the realities of the situation. Perhaps the father must petition the court for extended visitations. Also, if the father truly believes the mother is "unfit" then he should provide evidence to the court and petition for physical custody. Children should not be allowed to remain with an unfit parent. He should be concerned with more than his visitation schedule.

The factors used to determine that a parent is unfit are generally governed by state laws with child endangerment being the determining factor. The following include some of the reasons a parent may be declared unfit:

• physical, emotional and sexual abuse
• excessive discipline
• failure to protect the child from abuse by others
• failure to report abuse of the child
• neglect- failure to provide food, clothing, proper hygiene, necessary medical treatment, schooling
• failure to provide proper medical care
• failure to provide day to day parental care
• serious illness or disability
• mental illness
• substance abuse or addiction
• Alcoholism
• criminal activity and/or associations
• incarceration
• conduct or conditions that are seriously detrimental to the child
• abandonment
• child endangerment
• leaving the child unattended or in the care and supervision of a child
• a failure to provide adequate supervision
• unsafe living conditions
• a medical condition that makes it impossible for the parent to adequately care for the child

If the parties are presently in the process of divorce an experienced attorney is essential because the case will need to be carefully prepared and experience in a particular court is extremely valuable. The judge must have convincing evidence that father having custody is in the best interest of the children. The court will consider the father's role in day to day child rearing and child care prior to the divorce action. You need to be able to show that you were the one who provided day to day care for your child including such tasks as the following:

• You fed, bathed and put the child to bed.
• You got the child ready for the day, packed their lunch and got them to school or to the bus.
• You attended all the school conferences, plays, etc.
• You brought the child to the doctor and dentist visits and stayed home with them when they were sick.
• You brought them to school events, sports, birthday parties, play dates, extra curricular activities.
• You took the child shopping for clothes.
• you helped with homework

If the father has legitimate concerns that the mother is incapable of caring for the children properly he needs evidence that will convince the court. However, the motive should be honest concern for the children and not avoiding child support or a desire to hurt or control the children's mother. Your lawyer will review your situation and explain your options.

Many men take an active role in raising their children. If the father was the primary caregiver then he should definitely be considered for primary physical custody since caregiving should be one of the the main qualifications for awarding physical custody along with health, safety and stability.