Answer

I have been with 2 narcissists in my life. Sex with the first was nothing cause he was insecure about it and could barely function. But sex with the second was amazing. I didnt know he was a narcissist at first. And incredibly, the thing that made it incredible was that he made me feel so loved. But that is it, he made me feel loved, he didnt actually love me. It was all about him and proving that he was the best, incredible, perfect. As with all the others, once he established that fact, he began to use it to manipulate me and get me to engage in behaviors he wanted. Further, he did move on to other conquests, while keeping me there to be his constant. The new ones were transient and i was the one constant in his life that he could rely on to accept him, protect him and continually provide him with the reinforcement he needed. As you may be able to tell, i am still involved in this relationship and see what is happening and yet dont know how to get out.

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Actually the one I was with was insecure about sex. He was a classic N but he was very worried about his penis size, ability to perform, and he was quite dull in all honesty. It seemed as though all his worries and fears and even anger came out during sex.

Is it?

Has that "fact" been established?

answer

The N is a great manipulator, as we know. They exhibit this extreme confidence in themselves.(Illusory as it may be!) I think this is part of what attracts us. Their sexual confidence , I believe, stems from their view of themselves as perfect. We are in turn flatterd to be associated with them. I do not say this lightly. It is a very heady experience to be involved with someone so sexually confident. It is not really confidence though. It is more like selfishness. I hope I am making some sense. Just my opinion.

Answer

Well, I hate to tell you but its not for you. Its for them. They have to perform at the very best so they show themselves how good they are at it. Probably like most things in their lives they want and need it to be perfect. Its good to have great sex but not at the risk of compromising any other part your relationship or being. Why not find someone who has a great sex drive that is compassionate and loving to more than themselves. It would be better for you in the long run.

First answer by Schnazola. Last edit by Ltb8763. Contributor trust: 7 [recommend contributor]. Question popularity: 27 [recommend question]