Why is your girlfriend never in the mood even though you treat her so well and do all the sweet stuff for her that she deserves?

Answer 1

Talk to herIt may just be that her sex drive is not compatible with yours. Unfortunately, this does happen.

On the other hand, I've noticed that when people use words like "never" or "always," there is often some exaggeration going on. Do you really mean that she is never, ever in the mood? Or would it be more accurate to say that she's not in the mood nearly as often as you are?

Finally, it's great that you treat her well and do sweet things for her. This is how you should treat someone you love or care about, but doing these things doesn't entitle you to anything, except maybe respect and reciprocal treatment. It certainly doesn't mean she owes you sex. Expecting such is tantamount to prostitution really, and if you care about her, you surely wouldn't want this sort of relationship.

Talk to her about it in a nonconfrontational manner, preferably in a neutral situation and place. Don't wait until the next time you're all worked up and in the mood, and she isn't. This could be a disaster. In a situation like this, while you may want to approach her in a sensitive, calm, rational manner, your frustration and hormones could override your common sense. You may say things you don't mean or what you do mean to say may come out wrong.

If either of you find it difficult to talk about sex, go for a walk or a drive when you talk to her. Sometimes, it's easier to discuss sensitive subjects if you don't have to look directly at each other. It kind of alleviates some of the embarrassment and can feel a lot less confrontational.

And for goodness sake, DO NOT act like it's all her problem. You will likely discover that part of the problem is you or something you do or don't do. Perhaps your idea of doing something sweet is not the same as hers!

Or maybe she doesn't think there's a problem, at all.

TALK to her. Communication is the key to all good relationships.

What Would James Bond Do?It does not sound like this is merely a problem of differing sex drives, but a more general issue. There are qualities in a man that will turn a woman on, and qualities that will turn a woman off. Women are generally turned on by strong independent men, a man who wants her and chooses her but who does not *need* her. James Bond is a pretty good role model for a strong man who attracts and turns on women. A woman can only respect and value a man who respects and values himself. James Bond. Huge turns offs are desperation and neediness. I think the answer is right there in your question "treat her so well and do all the sweet stuff for her". You definitely should treat a woman well, James Bond treats women well, treats them with respect, he will charge in to protect them, he will do the *occasional* sweet stuff for them simply because *he enjoys* seeing her light up because of it, he will even fly them all across the globe to places *he wants to go* simply because he would enjoy her company. However it is actually quite possible to do too much sweet stuff for her. It's not really about what you do as it is about *why* you do it. If you do too much out of neediness, if you do more and more out of a desperate attempt to *buy* sex, that will have the opposite effect and turn her off. James Bond would never become a needy puppydog falling all over himself to do more and more "all the sweet stuff for her" and slavishly cater to every slightest whim. James Bond is too strong and independent to become a puppydog. James Bond respects and values himself too much to become slavish to her every request. James Bond has a relationship between equals who respect and value themselves and respect and value each other. James Bond wants a woman, James Bond chooses a woman woman, but he does not *need* her. He knows that if she does not do as much for him as he does for her, he will not put up with that, he can and will choose another woman who does. He knows that if her behavior is unreasonable or unacceptable, he will not put up with that, he can and will choose another woman with acceptable behavior. He knows that if a woman does not want and value him, he will not put up with that, he can and will choose another woman who does want and value him. A woman wants to be desired and chosen by a strong valuable man who could and would choose someone else if she's not good enough for him. And most of all James Bond would never try to buy sex. He would not try to buy sex with cash, would not try to buy sex with gifts, would not try to buy sex by doing her favors, would not try to buy sex with more and more "all the sweet stuff for her". He knows that sex is not something one person gives and another receives, that it is something shared by two people. He knows that if a woman is turned on, she desires and enjoys sex just as much as he does.

There's a famous quote: "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results". If you are already go all out on "all the sweet stuff for her" and you aren't getting the results you want, then you need to try something different. Here's an experiment to try. Whenever she asks/wants you to do something for her, think What Would James Bond Do? If she cut her finger and needs bandaid, James Bond would charge to the rescue. If she wants you to wash her car, James Bond would say no. It may seem backwards, but sometimes the best way to be attractive, the way to turn a woman on, is to say no. It expresses strength and confidence and independence and that you respect and value yourself too much cater to an unreasonable request. She may be surprised at your 'No', even better she may actively challenge you on it and gives you attitude and try to get you to cave in on it. Be a man, be attractively strong, stand by your 'No'. Whatever happens, don't be an unattractive weak needy wuss by caving in on it. If worst comes to worst and she works up a drama queen / spoiled brat tantrum over it, ask if James Bond would put up with that behavior. No, James Bond would have the balls to walk out of the room/building on her. And for all the attitude she might give you over it at the time, don't be surprised if she subconsciously sees you as a stronger more confident more valuable *more attractive* man, don't be too surprised if you end up getting more sex later that night or the next day. Another experiment you can try is when you are out somewhere, let her catch you checking out the body of an attractive woman. And do not apologize for it. If she gives you attitude, just snap back with a comment like "Yeah I was looking at her, what you you expect? Your home cooking has been leaving me more than a bit hungry lately." That comment is funny, cocky, true, and it beats the stuffing out of any gripe she could make about you merely LOOKING at someone else. Do not apologize for looking over the other woman. Let her be annoyed about it. Let her get jealous about it. Let her get the message that she has been inadequate for your needs. Let her worry that is SHE does not improve, that you might go elsewhere. And again, for all the attitude she may give you over it, do not be surprised if she winds up finding you more attractive, if she winds up getting more turned on by you, if you wind up getting more sex that night or the next day.

It's an old cliche but it's so true, women get hot for the Bad Boys and the Nice Guys never get any. James Bond is more than a little bit Bad Boy, James Bond is a Good Guy without being a Wussy Nice Guy. Being a bit Bad Boy does not mean being an creep[, and you can be a Good Guy without being an unattractive Wussy Nice Guy.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If what your doing isn't getting the results you want, try asking yourself What Would James Bond Do. Stop trying to buy her. Be a Good Guy and treat her properly, but don't be an unattractive Needy Wussy Nice Guy doing "all the sweet stuff for her" you possibly can. Value and respect yourself, your time, your effort, and so will she. It needs to be a relationship of equals. If you are doing too much pursuing her and she's not doing enough, dial your end down. Don't be surprised if she responds by dialing her end up.

ANSWER

I would say go for more sweet actions than gifts. Show her that you care, if she doesnt want to make love, then cuddle...dont rush. its better after anticipation.

Maybe act more uncareing toward the subject of sex...maybe she gets a kick out of watching you squirm..people are evil.

Answer 2

This is the story off every man's life. Girlfriend not in the mood. You need to introduce her to the bunny vibrator. No, seriously, girls just dont have as high of a sex drive as most guys. And for a girl, its all about being in the right mood. Sometimes you have to spend maybe 2 or 3 hours before hand preparing the mood. But I find sometimes girls like it when in the middle of town, out of nowhere you just pull her into a public toilet and before she gets a chance to say anything - start kissing her passionetly and take control. Girls like a bit of spontaniety and to be man handled a bit... just becareful your not raping her.