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Abuse victims sometimes emulate the behavior of the abuser.

By becoming abusive themselves, they are able to restrain the abuser.

I started to hate myself and the person I was starting to become while with my abusive partner. I started modeling his behavior and doing and acting and thinking as he did. I was so far removed from "who I was" before I met him. Even after the relationship ended I was still modeling that behavior because that was my exposure for 2 years. My family and friends even noticed behavioral changes in m;especially prented myself (as in speech, body language, etc). It took honesty from family and friends and a willingness to listen and change to free myself from those abusive patterns. Even today I still catch myself and it has been 5 months since it ended. Also, being honest with myself and speaking freely to a counselor/pastor about these has been a tremendous help. When someone has been continually exposed to that behavior and made to feel shameful with blame shifting...they tend to emulate what they have been used to.

Regrettably, abusive conduct is hard to get rid of and it "spills" to other areas of life. It is hard to confine it to your interactions with the abuser only.

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Q: Why would someone who has been in an abusive relationship mirror their abuser's behavior?
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