0
Why would the mother of a sexually abused adolescent protect the abuser?
Wiki User
∙ 17y ago
This is more common that one would think. Mothers are still just women, and sometimes loneliness and the fear of rejection are her top priority. They sometimes don't feel they can support their child(ren) or themselves and can only see a meal ticket walk out the door should she confront her spouse with the truth. There is no doubt that you and your mother have had normal arguments about other things so she may believe you are just trying to make trouble and trying to split her and her spouse up. It's called "denial." She would have spoken to her spouse and he would have certainly given her a good line that she would believe simply because she wants to believe. No, it's not right! I suggest if you are living under these conditions that you speak to either your school counselor, your family doctor or call Children's Welfare for help. You shouldn't be living in this environment. Good luck Marcy
Wiki User
∙ 17y ago
Add your answer:
Earn +20 pts
Is it normal for a victim to struggle to be treated with respect by her abuser?
Yes, it is normal. The abuser makes his victim think she has done EVERYTHING wrong, is useless, powerless, and not fit to live on her own out in society. She's stupid, she's ugly, fat, etc. The abuser breaks down the inner self of the victim. Of course none of it is true, but the victim is so use to hearing it she begins to believe it herself. Oddly enough some victims actually look up to their abuser as mentors and feel the need to please them. Of course this will never be, because the abuser is the one who is truly mentally incapacitated. He needs to have his environment under his total control and since that's not likely to happen out in society, the only place it will work for him is in the privacy of his home and that involves YOU. You can't change an abuser and to try and stay and think you are going to get respect from an abuser (when the abuser doesn't respect himself or anyone else) is a waste of your life. Run! Get out of this environment. Live life with a "if I don't feel good most of the time around a person there is something wrong and I need to deal with it and move on with my life" and you'll never go wrong. Friends, family, employers can abuse you mentally as well. Some of society believes women who stay with abusers are weak women and thus, they don't always respect them, but the opposite is true. Abused women are NOT weak. They are TRAPPED! Until recently there have been few laws that have protected abused women, but things are slowly but surely getting better. There is more protection out there and the Women's Center does work with the police in nailing the butts of abusers (be it man or woman.) I hope you think about this and realize that you won't win in this game of abuse and that you deserve better. I hope you make that call to the "Abused Women Center" and take their programs and become self sufficient and independent and have peace within yourself. Good luck hon Marcy Normal? No. Common? Yes. It's a tactic for control. Its part of the roller coaster. Treating you with respect knocks you off guard and makes you question your sanity. And its working, isn't it? Think about the question you asked. You used the word "abuse" and the word "respect" in the same sentence. How odd is that. If he respects you he wouldn't be abusing you. The abuse is real. The respect is an act. ~ T
How can you make someone see that when an abuser appears furious at something that the victim is doing or has done it is actually his abusive attitude that creates the conflict in the first place?
I'm not quite sure if you mean family members, friends or the abuser that you are trying to make see that it's the abuser's attitude that creates conflict. All you need to know is NO ONE has the right to abuse you! Also, you have no right to abuse anyone. To fight back at an abuser is dangerous and it leads nowhere. If you have had enough of the abuse it's time to seek help to get out of the environment you are in and never mind what others think or understand. My rule of thumb on this "Until you have walked a mile in that person's shoes (the victim) no one has a right to comment negatively." YOU know what goes on behind closed doors. There is no need to try and convince anyone! YOU CAN NOT CHANGE YOUR ABUSER! Abusers are usually the product of the environment they either grew up in, or an environment they created for themselves. Still, this is no excuse because they know they abuse and therefore, they should have gotten psychological help for themselves, but seldom do. Abusers are sneaky, vicious, under-mining and when they abuse their mate, a family member, children or the elderly it is suppose to make them feel superior, but only for a brief moment and thus, the abuse continues. Abuser's only know one word "control!" They can't control society or the world around them, BUT, they can control who is in their home. Abusers are actually weak and fear society as a whole. They often feel they have not been treated fairly or they should have all the things others in society have. They may resent the fact they weren't lucky enough to make good money or brought up in a family with money. They see themselves as much more intelligent than the average person and therefore, they are angry that they aren't rewarded for their intelligence. They feel "they missed the boat." If the abuser was abused by his/her parents then they grew up with deep-rooted anger. Children can't fight back against their abusers so they suppress their anger until they are old enough to leave home and the anger spills out and the abuse is a chain reaction. Other abusers could be in a job where they work hard and never seem to get anywhere in the company and instead of changing companies they internalize things and become angry. Some abusers are simply just mean to the bone and have no real reason for their behavior. Abuse is in every culture, race, rich or poor and the famous. Don't hang around your abuser and think they will change. It's a road you are going to have to travel and many women make the transition of getting help from their local "Abused Women's Center" and getting help fighting the system against their abuser and end up leading normal and healthy lives. Many formerly abused women end up meeting and marrying a wonderful man and leading a very normal lifestyle. Your are stronger than you think hon. Good luck Marcy
Why did American colonists believe the king was abusing the rights of the people?
There were several of them pretty much every king who ruled the coloniess is an abuser
What do you do when your son starts abusing you?
He's over 18 so there isn't a lot you can make him do, but you should try to get him into counseling. As well as yourself. If he is still living at home, tell him he has to go to counseling or move out. It's going to be very hard, but it's for his own good. He may eventually abuse his any women in his life and if he has any now or in the future, his children. It isn't healthy for him to treat anyone this way. If he doesn't live with you, then you should tell him he can't treat you this way and if he doesn't stop or get help right away, he can't come over. He should still be allowed to call you and talk, but he shouldn't be allowed in your house if he is hurting you. It's not healthy for you or him to allow him to do this to you. He needs to get help. That he is your son does not make him less of an abuser. You should treat him as you would any abuser - as you would treat an abusive spouse, for instance.
What happens to people who are abusers?
You dont say what type of abuser, Although all abuse is wrong in the UK emotional- mental abuse is not considered a crime against an adult,even though it carries all the same risk to the victims mental health and wellbeing,In answer to your question(What happens to abusers) if they are not caught they go on to abuse others and if they are caught they get whats coming to them in terms of a prison sentence. My answer is one word, Karma.
Is it wrong to love the person who sexually abused you?
Yes it is wrong, sexual abuse will follow you the rest of your life. The abuser has saddled you with something that will affect your relationships and you ability to trust. There are a lot of good people in the world to care for, you do not need any contact with somebody that would abuse you. If you have been sexually abused seek help.
When a spouse is abused does the abuser use weapons?
Sometimes they do, yes.
How do pedophiles groom?
Pedophiles do not groom children, sexual abusers groom children. A pedophilic individual is someone with pedophilia, where a sexual abuser is someone who is sexually abusing or has abused a child. Abusers can use many methods of grooming, as grooming is the process by which an abuser gains the trust of the child and the community around the child.
Can domestic abuse and Stockholm Syndrome collide Meaning can feeling guilty while being abused be called Stockholm Syndrome?
An abused person can identify with their abuser. The abuse itself would not be called Stockholm Syndrome. How the abused feels about the abuser would be Stockholm Syndrome.
When a abused person leaves and the abuser goes straight into another relationship will the abuser still try to get back at them?
I have been abused by my so called husband and when i left, till today he has never tryied to even call.
Why do people stay in abusive relationship?
Several different reasons. One could be because the abuser has such a hold on the abused that they stay because they think that the abuser is the only person that will want them. There is also fear that if the abused left the abuser would hunt them down and make them pay for leaving in the first place. If you asked 10 different abused people why they stay (stayed) in they're abusive relationships I can almost promise you'll get 10 different answers. In some cases the abused person believes that she/he can fix the abuser, or for complex reasons might even feel guilt about leaving the abuser.
If a man is founded as a child abuser and your child is the one he abused but is not the father of the abused child but is of your unborn child does he have rights to the unborn baby?
A court would never award custody or visitation rights to a convicted child abuser.
How can you have a relationship with a narcissist without feeling abused?
. You couldn't (improve on last answer, or have a relationship with a Narcissist without feeling abused).You cannot have a relationship with an abuser without feeling abused.
Will my boyfriend be an abuser if he yells at his mom?
Answer:The Boyfriend might become an abuser, but in the long run he will learn from his mistakes and i believe no, he will not become an abuser, if you feel like your being abused walk away =3
What is the noun of the word abused?
The word abused is the past tense of the verb to abuse. The noun forms for the verb are abuse, abuser, and the gerund, abusing.
Who sexually abused whom - an 8 year old female and a 13 year old female cousin that made the 8 year old have oral sex?
If one person 'made' another do something then they are the abuser, regardless of age or gender.
Where do you go for help to get rid of your abuser so you can hiding the bruises he is causing you secretly?
You could try a Women's Center For Abused And Battered Women...they can help protect and advise you on what to do about your abusive husband (spouse boyfriend ect...)
