Will a man with a history of abuse always abuse his next partner?

Answer 1

Statistically, the odds of an abuser changing are low. So the short answer is yes, those with a history of abuse will likely abuse their subsequent partners. However, there are key indicators you can watch for in a person who is taking an honest interest in changing their abusive behavior:

1) They acknowledge that they are abusive, and that it is their responsibility, and not the fault of anyone else that they are they way they are.

2) They admit that they WANT to change, and that they know the process of change is very difficult

3) They undergo a violence/abuse assessment, delivered by a professional who focuses on these things. The abuser is willing and wanting to follow the recommendations of the assessment.

4) They voluntarily enter programs specifically oriented around addressing abusive and/or violent behaviors. These group programs generally are extensive, and may run from a minimum of 16 weeks to 52 weeks in length. Jointly, they should also attend individual counseling that is specific to the challenges they have in addressing their behavior and emotional challenges.

5) The process for change is hard, and can be long. How long depends on the individual, their readiness for change, and ability to integrate the change.

6) The individual will tend to this change in an ongoing process which may be lifelong.

The process for changing abusive tendencies is intense, very difficult (because it is rooted in learned behaviors that likely spanned significant portions of their childhood), and due to the extraordinarily low level of community support due to the morally reprehensible nature of this behavior, the individual will find the path to rehabilitation difficult to maintain despite their initial best interests and convictions.