You and your wife are separated now she won't let you see the kids. What should you do?

Answer 1

You have a right to see the kids.

The proper way out of this is to defuse the rage and frustration she feels, by a long slow process of talking and talking. It will mean that you have to deal with your own rage and frustration too, so find a friend or therapist to help you do this.

Find an empathetic caring person to do mediation between yourself and your ex. Someone she trusts, even settle for someone she has chosen.

Don't be tempted to sue her for access until mediation has failed. But use your very clear legally supported right to access as a reason for the mediation to succeed. If she understands before the mediation starts that no judge will ever deny the father access to his children then she will know she is on shaky ground.

And pay maintenance (child support). It will demonstrate that you care.

Answer

This is a legal issue. Your wife has no right to prevent your being with your children. She is being unreasonable and is not thinking if the children. She is starting off on the wrong page and you need to nip it in the bud in order to maintain your relationship with your children. By taking it upon herself to deny your parental rights she could eventually lose custody when/if your case reaches the courtroom. The longer you wait to address the situation the more damage it can do to your relationship with your children. She is likely engaging in other maladaptive behaviors regarding the children and it is important for them to spend quality time with you to counter act any negative comments she makes to the children about their father.

You should visit the family court and file a petition for temporary visitation order. If your marriage is headed for divorce you should consult with an attorney. He/she could expedite the temporary orders.