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Your dad used to beat you up with his belt or fists or anything at hand and called you names like worthles piece crap or an SOB and such - is that why you are so shy?
Wiki User
∙ 11y ago
This can absolutely cause a person to feel shy. When a parent, who is supposed to be the very person a child can turn to for protection is the one the child needs protectection from, this can have many, many adverse effects on a child, one of which is shyness, and the tendency to withdraw from other people.
But what you (and other children in the same situation) need to realize, is that there is nothing wrong with you, you did nothing to deserve this treatment, and none of the abuse is your fault. It is the parent who abuses their child who is At Fault, and the one who has something wrong with them, such as the reason for their abuse of you.
There are almost as many reasons for child abuse as there are abusers. Many abusive parents were abused as children themselves, so they grow up thinking that's the "normal" way of parenting. Some abusers are alcoholics or drug addicts, who become much more abusive when drinking or taking drugs.
Another cause of child abuse is anger - anger at the way they grew up, anger at their inability to be the kind of person or parent they want to be, or feel they should be and just don't know how. It can also be anger at their circumstances, such as hating their job, etc.. The list of causes of this anger could go on and on.
Often, the abusive parent doesn't even realize they are angry, they just lash out at the most convenient person, who usually happens to be their child(ren). And, to put it bluntly, sometimes the abuser is just a mean person, or a bully, who came from a good childhood, with good parents.
But what you need to do is to realize there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, the problem lies with your abusive parent. His abuse of you does not mean you deserve that abuse, you just happen to be the target of his anger, frustration, bullying, etc.
You have to also realize you can't "fix" an abusive parent, nor is it your responsibility to do so. Your priority has to be finding and getting the help you need, and the help you deserve.
With abuse like that, you need to get help from a family member, your school counselor, your minister, or one of the Child Help organizations. What your father is doing to you is wrong, and it's against the law, and you do not have to live like that, nor should you. You, as well as all children, deserve to not have to live in fear, and to live in a safe, loving environment. It is your legal right (yes, children have legal rights, too) to be protected from abuse of any kind.
Quite often, children are reluctant to ask for help out of a sense of loyalty towards their abusive parent. They think they will get their parent "in trouble", so they say nothing to anyone, and the abuse continues. And until or unless you do ask for help, the chances of your abuse continuing is almost 100% probable that it will continue.
Below are some numbers you can call (depending on where you live), where you can speak to someone trained in cases like yours, and advise you as to what you need to do concerning your specific circumstances. You don't have to be afraid of getting in trouble for calling them, they are highly trained in helping abused children. They can help you without your father ever knowing who called them. And since they are toll free numbers, the call will not show up on your phone bill, so your abusive parent won't be able to find out that you called them from the phone bill, either.
Phone numbers for abused children:
- National Child Abuse Hot Line 800-422-4453 TDD 800-222-4453
- ChildHelp USA National Crisis Hot Line 800-292-9688
- National Domestic Violence Hot Line 800-799-7233 TDD 800-394-2255
- Girls and Boys Town National Hot Line 800-448-3000
UK
National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC)
Freephone 0800 800 5000
Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (ISPCC) 00 353 742 9744
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/resources/crisis.html
South Africa
Crime Stop at 0800 11 12 13 or 08600 10111
Canada
Kids' Help Phone: 1 800 668 6868
Phone numbers for abused children:
- National Child Abuse Hot Line 800-422-4453 TDD 800-222-4453
- ChildHelp USA National Crisis Hot Line 800-292-9688
- National Domestic Violence Hot Line 800-799-7233 TDD 800-394-2255
- Girls and Boys Town National Hot Line 800-448-3000
UK
National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (NSPCC)
Freephone 0800 800 5000
Irish Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (ISPCC) 00 353 742 9744
Australia
Kids Help Line: 1800 55 1800
http://www.aifs.gov.au/nch/resources/crisis.html
Crime Stop at 0800 11 12 13 or 08600 10111
Canada
Kids' Help Phone: 1 800 668 6868
Wiki User
∙ 14y ago
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