How do you know if a very mature 14-year-old girl likes you if you just turned 16 and she shows the signs but your logic keeps saying that your ages will stop the relationship?

Answer 1

If your instincts make you think she likes you she probably does. As for a 2 yr age difference, I don't see the big deal. Usually you would figure age differences like this - divide the older person's age by 2 and then add 9 yrs for the minimum age to make a relationship work. So at 16, you get 8+19 - or 15. But that's only a 1 yr difference and you say she's mature for her age. Just be nice - she's not as experienced at the dating game as you are. Heh, this is me, and I do get the feeling she likes me. I try to make her laugh, and we laugh with each other alot, she'll come out of nowhere and pat me on the pack or just randomly touch my arm, she'll wave to me or say hi to me in a group, and she seems to like talking to me. I get to see her for about an hour a day, sometimes more, but we rarely get a chance to just talk to each other. (go to a group-like thing) I've known her for *almost* 2 years, and have had kind of a crush on her since I've known her. I was 14 and in 9th grade when I met her, and she was 12 in 6th, though I, and even my mom, was convinced she was in at least 7th or 8th. (She's very mature) I've now turned 16 and am in 10th and she is 13 (14 in a few months, I believe) in 7th. Though it seems like there have been a few times that I don't get to see her very often, or at all, sometimes over the winter or summer, where either I have a lot of company at my house over the winter and I don't get to go to where I get to see her, and there was time where she didn't go because someone else there had been her boyfriend (though I still liked her when he was :P), but they had broken up over something, and she hadn't been there for a while, and I haven't seen the guy there but maybe once since. (I used to kind of talk to him, and he was nice sometimes, but other times he would be kind of a jerk :\) So anyway, I'm not sure when I started feeling like this towards her (I'm thinking it's been all along, it's hard to remember a time when I hadn't thought about her). But it seems like she's all I can think about. I sometimes dream about her at night, at some unfamiliar surroundings, just talking... and any day I see her is automatically better. She's my first thought waking up, or going to sleep. I try to make jokes, and when she laughs I'm happy, though I hate not knowing what to say and saying something completely stupid and random... I just think of her like I think of no one else. I mean, sure, I see other good looking girls, that are sometimes closer to my age than herself, but they just don't come close to comparing to the happiness just seeing her brings into my day. I don't know her mom or dad very well, but I do see them from time to time. I know I'm no stranger to her mom though, as my mom talked to her a long while ago, and kind of let her know about me. So her mom 'sort of' knows me, she says hi sometimes. :P I've liked a few girls in my days on this little blue planet, but never once been on a real date. (Moving away, is usually the cause) And she just seems so great and amazing, but I thought about it, and it seemed like, "13 and 16? That's like me with a 19 year old." And it kind of sunk in at that point how big the age difference seemed. Though I've heard of people being many more years apart, it just doesn't seem like the chances of getting to even take her out anywhere are very good. But sometimes I remind myself anything is possible and am excited once more at the possibilities. I can't let her just disappear and ask myself "what if?" for the rest of my life. But I don't want to run up to her and ask to go out or just tell her everything, without even knowing for sure if she feels anything towards me other than friendship. I want a chance to talk to her more than anything, but we rarely get a chance to, because when we are there together, it's always in a group of other people. Though sometimes standing outside waiting for our rides home we get to talk, there is usually someone else out there as well. I don't know what advice I'm expecting here, I've read around here for some time, and I'm hoping Marcy is going to be able to respond. (Nothing against any of you other guys, but from my reading, Marcy just stands out. :P) I just really need someone elses viewpoint to read from what little information I can express. Sometimes I feel like we could really be together, but other times she'll talk to other people and laugh with them, and it drives me insane on the inside not knowing. Thanks guys, all of you! (Wow, it seems I've taken off and written a short auto-biography here, sorry about my wall of text. I keep editing this, If you can't tell by the many edits, I'm kind of a perfectionist. :P) There is no "magic" formula for calculating the correct age for who to date. If your heart is telling you one thing and your brain is telling you another, this is a dilemma. It sounds like you may be experiencing love for the first time, some call it "puppy love". Chances are, you will have many "loves" in your life before you find "the one" who is meant for you, and even then there is no guarantee it will last. If your brain is telling you to put on the brakes, perhaps you should listen, you can still be friends with this girl and if things work out your relationship can grow as you both mature. It is also possible she is attracted to you because you are older and more mature than the boys her age, it could be because she knows you have or will soon have access to a car. Take it slow and don't jump into anything that doesn't feel right. There are plenty of young girls out there who are unhappy at home for whatever reason and are looking for a way out of a bad home life, I have seen plenty of young girls who got pregnant on purpose to try to trap a boy they want. They may be looking for love that they don't have at home or live in an abusive or alcoholic situation and are looking for any way out. So even if you do decide to date this girl, and it leads to sex, use protection, I don't think you want to be a father yet, however this is the primary goal in some young girls lives. They will have a baby that will give them unconditional love, and if they are lucky a boy/man who will provide for her and her baby, especially if she is from a poor family and your family has money. Good Luck!!! Thanks Barney, we have been friends for a while now, but she has seemed like she liked me before she knew how old I was, so I doubt it's because of soon driving a car. (I don't think I'll be driving a Ferrari, either. :P I'm also just going to get my permit this month, maybe next.) And I know the chances of us actually being together our whole loves are not good, but you're never going to know who you are going to be with if you're never with anyone. And I'm not even thinking about sex, I mean yeah, I'm a guy, so it has to pop up in my manly head sometime, (lol) but it's never on my mind when I'm with her, you know what I mean? She has loving parents and (from what I know) a very happy home life, so I don't think she has anything to run from. I thank you for your answers, I just really needed to get some other viewpoints right now, thanks much! Since you are thinking so much about this relationship before jumping into the fire then you are quite mature yourself. Whether you are 14 - 60 plus love is serious to the person in love. One good thing at least she had a boyfriend before so this is an indication that her parents don't mind her having a boyfriend at such a young age. The other plus is your mother knows her mother and you know this girl's mother a little as well. If she seems to like you then that's one big plus! I believe in "old souls" and I feel you are one of those people. Even at 16 you make more sense than some people I have talked to in my adult life that are 30 plus and they don't stop and think about their actions like you do. It is possible for young people to really be in love for a lifetime, but, it's rare. As far as I'm concerned your feelings for this girl are mature and the real thing. I've known people (just a very few) that have met in Grade School and married later, and I've known many that have met in High School, got married and are still married after all these years. I would advise you to take things VERY slow and easy. Walk right up to her and ask her if you could speak to her alone. I'm sure she's a nice girl from what you say and she'll be happy to walk away from others in order to talk with you (it wouldn't be out of character because you joke around with her.) Then, that's when you ask her out to a movie (her choice) or somewhere you think she'd like to go. She could say no, but then again, she could say yes! Don't live on "what ifs" or "I should have tried." Just do it! What I mean by "slow and easy" is it's not necessary to tell her right away about your feelings. Wise people before getting too involved in the relationship REALLY get to know each other's likes and dislikes, have fun together and laugh a lot as well as go out in groups with each other's friends. Young women like an air of mystery about a young man and the way you do this is by not telling them everything about you right off the bat. Don't let the fear of her old boyfriend coming back into things scare you into telling her how you feel. Just calm yourself down, be nice to her and joke (but don't joke too much) and again you'll know when the time is right to put your arm around her shoulder or waist or hold her hand (that's an indication you're not deemed just a "joker" and you are getting more serious.) She will either accept this action from you or she won't. I hope this relationship works out and if it does the next step you will be faced with is sex. Don't! It's risky. It's best to prepare yourself (guys need too as well as girls) so go onto www.Google.com and ask "All you want to know about sex." Everyone thinks they know everything about sex, but not true. Many of us are still learning and teen pregnancies are getting higher not to mention sexually transmitted diseases. Love is blind and sexually transmitted diseases have no preference between the very young to adults; rich, poor and it can hit any race. Condoms are a must! Because she is 14 I would suggest you don't get into a sexual relationship, but things happen and nature doesn't seem to put an age on sexual relationships. Remember, 10 minutes of love-making can make a drastic and unpleasant change in your life and sometimes cost you the very person you are in love with. When adults think of a 14 year old girl and a 16 year old young man (they think that's VERY young to get too serious) but if it were say a 20 year old girl and a 22 - 23 year old young man it's not such a big deal and it's because they have passed being a minor and many adults feel they have had a chance to learn a little about life before getting into a serious relationship. I'm almost 4 years older than my husband and he was much more mature then the men I use to date. That's one of the many things I loved about him. Simply put, get her aside and ask her out and then take it slow and easy. Don't tell all too quickly and don't put too much pressure on her or yourself. You don't have to have a fancy car or even a car at all and if two people are in love that doesn't matter one bit. There are buses! I would like to suggest a good movie (on DVD) to you (suitable for all ages) called "Notebook." It takes place in the 1940s between two young lovers. I think you'll relate to the young man in this story. It goes right up to the present time. It shows what true love is and that it's not all perfect, and that when you think you've lost the one you love it isn't always true. Relax and don't be in too big a hurry to take this relationship too far too quickly. Good luck! What logic is that? Your 16 dont over think it. Just take it slow and enjoy each others company and do some cool stuff together. Find out if she likes a certain food or sports team or museum or park and go to those places. Have fun.