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Ten misconceptions about people with disabilities include these:

  1. They cannot hear someone speaking to them, so others must yell louder especially if the person uses a wheelchair. False: Speak in a normal voice unless you are specifically told that the disabled person is also deaf.
  2. They don't understand what's being said to them and so, it is better to speak to the 'helper', companion, partner, spouse. False: Physically disabled people are indeed mentally competent and should be respected to handle their own affairs.
  3. They're "stupid." False: Most acquired disabilities--those that occur at any age except during birth-- do not usually involve a decrease in intelligence, comprehension, or understanding of speech, the written word, etc.
  4. The disabled person is sadly, pitifully depressed, so anyone speaking to the disabled should be solicitous and "babying" when talking to the person. False: Although illness and disability can cause situational depression, most disabled persons do NOT suffer chronic depression.
  5. The disabled person has "no life"-- no interests, passions, ambitions, plans, or drive to pursue anything to do with "life". False: Even though disability can make it harder to pursue goals, disabled people DO lead productive lives with the same interest, passion, ambition, etc. that the person had before the disability occurred.
  6. Being disabled is an anomaly, i.e. it's abnormal. False: Disability can occur in one second for any person; one slip on ice that results in a back injury; one inherited gene that leads to Parkinson's at an early age; one bad automobile accident that results in paralysis; etc. As "Baby Boomers" age, there will be millions more people who are already disabled or who will become disabled.
  7. The disabled person somehow contributed to their present physical condition and contributed to "causing" their disability. False: For example, 1. Diabetes can often be uncontrolled even though the person eats correct foods. Diabetes also often leads to circulation problems in the legs, which can then lead to amputation. A person with diabetes did not cause the illness or the amputation. 2. A back injury can occur to anyone. 3. A traffic accident may not have been the fault of the person who was left disabled from it. Etc.
  8. Disabled people mostly live in nursing homes. False: Most disabled people disabled from childhood, or disability acquired as adults, live with family or live independently. Disabled persons are in the community and do tasks of daily living just like everyone else.
  9. Disabled people would prefer other people keep quiet with their questions or misconceptions about what it is like to be disabled, rather than the person asking questions about the person and the disability. False: Disabled persons dislike silent staring, being avoided, or being judged. Disabled persons would actually welcome questions rather than avoidance.
  10. Disabled people are unattractive, fat, or even ugly and therefore no one would ever want to be friends or be in a relationship with a disabled person. If the person is single when the disability occurs, he/she will remain single until he/she dies. If the person is married or in a relationship when the disability occurs, he/she will soon be single because the spouse/partner will just leave. False: All persons face the same issues in relationships--and relationships succeed or fail. Disability does not mean a person will forever be alone and unloved. Many disabled people are married and the spouse does NOT leave. And, many disabled persons get married AFTER a disability already occurred. In a recent example, a couple who were dating experienced a car accident; the car rolled, pinning the girl's legs under the car. The boyfriend, the driver, was mostly unhurt. But she was paralyzed from the waist down. They decided to go forward with their plans to marry. The girl so much wanted to walk down the aisle that she did physical therapy with braces, in her wedding dress, to try to walk while being held up. Her father and brother supported her weight as she, in the leg braces, moved down the aisle on her wedding day. Disability did not remove the love the couple felt.

What persons with disability want the most is to be treated kindly, with respect, and treated as competent adults who are able to make their own decisions in life. They already face obstacles; they don't need other people to become obstacles by making it harder to be independent.

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